I was having the worst day ever and this comment was everything

i am quite smitten by line 8: my deconstruction of the traditional "bok" into its most basic form, the "B Bo BOK bo b", really transcends me from the mundane repetitiousness of the common man.

its great, but I would have added a few more boks towards the end.

I dare say that the expertly woven allusions to indoctrination and fear within *chicken scratch* really flow unhindered from a deep well of emotion and deliberation that the handling of the themes of *Humble Bumble Bee* does not match. The dichotomy of the buzzing and subconscious seems too forced and jammed in there with little nuance. I believe that interesting elements are there but the skill with which you have brazenly, yet still with expert nuance, delivered the driving questions in *chicken scratch* is not present. I wept a single tear upon my reading of the former poem, the latter caused me to tip out my earl grey tea onto the floor in disdain. Cheers!

I saw what you did there with that wordplay and analogy to the simile as busy as a bee very clever

my next work touches on the interwoven connection between the Humble Bumble Bee and the ability of mankind to breach the gap of inner solace from transgressions of a inter-dimentional  quality  towards the sleeping self conscious  

titled Humble Bumble Bee:

Bzzz bzzzzy B

BZZZZZZY BEE

B BZZZY BEE

BE BEE BZZY

BZzZzZZZZzZzZzZzZzZzzZzzZzzZzZZZZZZ

Always an awe to me how some humans can perfectly sum up vast topics like the human psyche in such simple and eloquent words. All the themes this poem manages to explore is really just breathtaking in my humble opinion.

Well I guess you know everything? *cowers in fear*

tell me something i am not aware of....\*rolls eyes\*

This is as an example of a sublime and heart touching poetry if I've ever seen one. You're a gift to mankind.

This is 19 Spots AWAY FROM #1 POST HERE,

COME ON LETS GET US ALL THERE!!!! big up the vote yall!

Every line details the pains of existence, and yet you find a way to bring some meaning to persisting towards the last stanza. I like it when you say "bok bok" that line, oddly enough, describes something I experienced in my life.

please tell me this is a joke.... because at least my brain can’t understand the “h e a v y   s y m b o l i s m” used here...

it is quite dangerous to infer in the art world, just like assumptions make ass of you n me when you infer, your 'in for' a surprise.

I understand this is satirical but I really enjoyed this.

Not many people are able to see the world as you do, and I thank you for this nuanced perception of humanity. 

Anyway, ima put this on a cream colored, crop top shirt so PM for credit! (Don’t bother, I won’t be giving you credit.)

The tempo of this poem is simply magical. The curiosity...the panic. Beautiful

Yeah I posted this when it only had like 4 upvotes. I was expecting it to get more, but not be *this* popular. Should've known better.

im suprised how many it has gotten now... lol

I'm frankly surprised it doesn't have more upvotes.

in-person or, now, zoom workshops are valuable for providing a space for reading, but an online space like this can have interesting effects on workshopping. if all the reader has is the text & formatting, that leaves the writer to make the text perform the job of “performing” itself. another interesting quality of this space is the impersonality of feedback. I can’t see you; I can’t “hear” you; all I got is myself, these fumble-thumbs, and your poem. bok bokkk Ba-bokkk kuh BOK CHOY. Anyways, that impersonality can lead to either really lazy and disengaged feedback to the other spectrum: harsh, idgaf about feelings feedback. I been here for a few years now. If you stay around, some particular usernames start popping up and have given me more useful harsh feedback than any professor, grad students, or undergrads in workshop. Anyhowsss, not relying on performing a text can help lead to honing the text itself. Stick with this site and it can be a fantastic place to grow ;) also check out 

i semi agree, i have posted my more serious personal stuff, but i see this as mainly a sound board for people.

to really hone your craft you need to go to live in person stuff, people cant read context and inflection on written word posts.

im not trying to say people are pointless to post here, but this is just where you start, you will get un honest feed back negative hateful stuff, with no honest intention.

Top tier creativity here: OP really did a thorough imagination on how a chicken would observe, think and talk, so... bok bok!

I had such a hard day today until I saw this and broke down. Nothing expresses my emotions as well as the rawness and truthful honesty your poem evokes. It is not pretentious nor pretending to be something it is not. It is simply ‘bok’, as you so eloquently put it.

I didn't understand what all the fuss was about with this, but actually it reminds me of what I hear when people start talking about politics, and now I feel strangely connected to this poem haha! Thanks for sharing x

bok bok bok bok

bok bok ok bok bokbok ok bok bok bok

bok bok bOoOk bok bok

bok bok

bok bok bok bok bok

bk bok bok bok bokbok bok bok bok bkbk bok bok bok bok

bok bok boook bok bokbok bok bok

b bo bok bok bo b bo bok bok bo b bok

bok bok bok bok bokbok bok bok bok bokbok bok

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/imb6vf/its\_just\_been\_a\_rough\_day\_and\_i\_wrote\_this\_im\_done/g407ozk/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=ios\_app&amp;utm\_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/imb6vf/its_just_been_a_rough_day_and_i_wrote_this_im_done/g407ozk/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

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