She Knows

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May I keep this please ? Well I’m making a copy for my eyes only of course Bc THIS is an excellent example of establishing a character dynamic . Thank you for sharing this well written piece

Now if bits and pieces relate personally well that makes it art and if another entire creation is the image as a whole confirmed in the reader’s mind ... that makes it Fine. Nicely done

It's really touching and engaging may be coz I can relate too. The words very beautiful and well expressed the feelings. Love it 💙

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this is amazing. feels like how i do. always feeling like i’m hiding my suffering, at least until recently.

awesome work. great formatting, imo.

Very well written. A simple profound way of describing a person and to make her seem close to us, that a name popped up in our heads while reading this. It has a good structure that fits for the poem, and I find the ending bittersweet. Loved it!

Absolutely love the repetition of the line "she knows" and how you rhyme it in the verses. It feels as if it has a really good cadence and rhythm to it, which is essential for poetry lmaoo. My one critique is that i feel like theres a missed opportunity in the 3rd stanza with the line "She thinks, she hopes, she dreams, she frets" where you could play on the repetition in other stanzas if it was worded differently. The part "she hopes" is phonically similar to "she knows" so it could be another great place to use this rhetorical device !! fuggin love this though!

This is such a beautiful piece, I particularly love how it seems at every stanza break there's a drilling into the readers head about what you want to get across - she knows suffering, oh she knows...

Unlike a lot of people on here, I think you stand out, you definitely have a talent for picking your subject and not only conforming to both rhyme and rhythm, but making it feeling refreshing at the same time. It reads like a love story but with a flare of tragedy, well done.

That said, I think you could benefit from cleaning up some of the flow, as most of it but not all of it goes as smoothly as it sets the stage for. I would also suggest as a friendly challenge that you pick your rhymes at the beginning or even the middle of a line. It could catch the readers off guard and you could surprise them in a good way of executed correctly. All said and done, this is a really well written poem, good job.

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This is amazing and almost made me cry. I just had one of those moments where I read a poem or lyrics and feel as if it was written about me. ❤️thanks for sharing

Really bittersweet. The rhyming pattern fits nicely with the subject matter imo, with it feeling a little innocent on the outside, yet much deeper & darker on the inside. I would suggest making the first stanza longer—maybe trying to find a word that would rhyme with “suffering”?

The language is simple and clear. The perfect example, of short and sweet.

I aspire to capture this amount of emotion in such short verses. Thank you for sharing.

What a beautiful poem. I think everyone can relate to this. We all know what is suffering and we all have mastered the art of hiding. We smile through the pain because we know not anyone will understand. We know what it feels like to be unknown yet we know that no one is unknown. We all know how to act and hide everything that we have.

The rhyming scheme here is very interesting. Love the way you've described the character in detail. It gives out a clear picture.

I could relate to this so deeply as I literally: sit alone, exhausted soul, with my endless dreams...(white) curtains drawn, so you’d only see a literal silhouette. And even when people meet me, I’ve become a figurative silhouette of all I am / was lately.

I kid you not

Thank you 🙏

And I’m a hard critic of what I read and appreciate, I honestly don’t see any thing to criticize. Except maybe it’s not written for me, by the guy who saw it in me and seems to have walked away lol that woulda been awesome

i love the poem this a a real work of art

it would sound really good if at the end of the last stanza you instead say

that she knows suffering she truly knows

You have a whole short story inside of this poem. It’s built so well. The meter is quite sweeping too. Do you have more poems? I would love to read them.