Untitled
Peppering poultry
Is it poetry?
Hand to the salt shaking it hoarsely
A meticulous art covering it flowerily
To move past the eyes that see it chorally
In vigor, a sweet citrus trigger
Drawn by taste, to hunger wryly
Don’t over cook, or you’ll be mouthing dryly
How does the poultry supply me?
Well its molten mileage
Casted by a saucer, instrumental temperamental
To Sauté the Entrée
Temperature fast, hot n’ high
Tips test for tastes
Let the Poetry leave its trace
Posted Nov 24, 2020, 6:40 PM UTC
55
I would make it "peppering poultry is poetry"
"hand to salt shaking it hoarsely" feels weird in my mouth. hoarsely doesn't fit for me separate from the hand-to-salt part.
I don't have much else to add. for fun maybe make it a sonnet? its really close already.
oh and I forgot. title your poem. always. kids have names. poems have titles. for you to not title it tells me as a reader it wasn't worth your time, why is it worth mine.
fair point, thanks for the advice.
Tell that to Emily Dickinson
Maybe "hand to salt shaking it coarsely" would make the sentence more comfortable? Sometimes I change a strong word because I will get stuck on it personally. If I'm breaking from traditional sentences I like to mimic a more structured e.e.cummings. ex. "peppering poultry is poetry hand to salt shaking it hoarsely" I try to spell out my inner thoughts how I would read them, if that makes any sense. My lil ol cents here..lol. I had a good time reading this poem! Thank you for sharing and also polite criticism. What a small joy!