Thank you so much for your feedback! It helps me a lot. What you say makes sense about the "basking" line. I will rewrite it.

I had "known to me" because I didn't want those three end rhymes (me,knee,tree). I felt at the time it was enough to have it as written ending with "known", but you've gotten me thinking that I should reconsider my decision.

I was experimenting with accenting the lines right before the last couple lines, but I will try thinking of a last rhyming couplet that could wrap it up differently at the end.

Again, thanks a lot for the feedback!

First of all, I love the message of this poem. You've beautifully captured the longing for the innocence or youth and the nostalgia of childhood. 

The first stanza is super strong. In the second one, the phrase  "Still in a luscious glow that basks in all of youth’s glory" is a bit inconsistent . I think if you rewrote it a bit, for example if you worded it as " *Still in the luscious glow that basks all of youth's glory"* it would make more sense grammatically since you would bask *in* the glow and not the other way around. You could also say  "*still in a luscious glow, basking in all of youth's glory."*

&#x200B;

I really love the last stanza. I'm dying to hear the words *to me* in the second line. I think it would sound amazing: *I miss not fearing pain, when all the hurt known to me was a scraped knee after falling from a bike or a tree.* But that's just my opinion.

&#x200B;

I think the last two lines are a little too abrupt to end the poem on. Because you do some rhyming righ

Thank you! I'm really happy you mentioned immediately understanding "mankind's secrets," because I was somewhat worried it might not make sense to others.

I feel very nostalgic reading this, it hits a place that was really personal and joyful to most. When you talked about the picture books it really made me reflect on my elementary days, those days where so fun. Also, talking about “mankind’s secrets” I immediately understood what that meant and i to miss when I was innocent and didn’t know half as much about words and phrases as I do now. In my opinion very decently written for the simple fact it was simple and straight to the point. Keep up the work 💜

Thank you. I acknowledge that the last part of the 2nd stanza is weak and the words could use some reworking or changing. I will definitely rewrite it to not be a cliche. Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate it!

wow, the last line is a totally different turn tonally, especially with the word doom. the whole last stanza actually works really well, and hushed tones in the context of doom reminds me of a low rumble, tension building soundscape, like what builds behind most movie trailers before the title comes up. 

thematically i love this - i always think about this.. how much i miss childhood and how farther and farther away that reality seems as i grow up. 

basking in glory is more or less a cliche, so i would change the word basks or change the word glory so as not to repeat an aphorism that is so often used in uninspired poetry. that's my only note! well done \~

I'm glad it could evoke those feelings for you. I found that the best thing to do is to write something even when you don't feel like it. Over time you'll improve.

I have to agree with everyone here that this poem resurrected certain feelings of nostalgia for my childhood. I love it when those feelings come back to me, and that makes me forever thankful for little gems like this. It makes me want to write more, and do what I need to do to become a better author. The slow, emotional build-up to the end is what I find particularly striking and satisfying.

Thank you! I understand what you mean about having a different one. This title is direct, but it sums up the emotion that is expressed.

First of all I really like the structure of this poem! It makes you reading all through it. Aswell as for the other people it do wake up some hidden feelings of my childhood. <3 
I would personally name it differently and not so obvious because you directly read it in the first line. I think it would be nice to have a more mysterious name. ( but that's just my personal opinion!) 
Keep going !

Thank you for these words.Your point is true and it's sad that many don't have positive youth experiences. In that case, I believe it's better to long for the idyllic days of a youth well spent than to have never known one.

A very nostalgic poem that I feel captures well the hopefulness of youth. A time when: not knowing a thing brought wonder instead of fear, when the pain of a scraped knee was easily forgotten, when the assumption was that pain would be rare in ones life and the knowledge of it was limited by a blessed lack of experience, when kindness in human beings was the expectation, when small visceral matters gave us pause and cause for joy, and when the world was a big adventure waiting to welcome you with open arms. I pray that all children have this experience; even though many don't. It's a good reminder for us to intentionally maintain what we can of this hope in our inner sanctuary. Adulthood can easily be filled with that silent doom. Well done OP.

Thank you!

I understand what you mean by the last verse. The less colorful or cliche line of  “Falling from a bike or tree” was intentional because it was meant to be a phrase of something common that many of us experienced when we were children. I wanted it in plain terms of childlike simplicity to reflect the yearning for even those things.

This is a great poem! Especially the second verse, i feel like it captures something hard to put into words! It reminds me of when a kid is really proud of dressing themselves for the first time and receive genuine praise from adults just cause they’re a kid. 

I think the last verse could use a little more color though. “Falling from a bike or tree” is certainly something everyone can relate to but is almost cliche in that these are such common experiences.

Otherwise, it really does spark memories of my childhood so insofar as it is aimed at stimulating nostalgia, it’s perfect!

i really liked he dark ending. the rhyming is on point, the word choices really work to convey the emotions you describe, and the whole thing feels polished and well put together. good job

  I have a tendency to take even positive aspects or ideas to a darker place. I will try to write something I like to make the ending hopeful. That was helpful. Thank you for your feedback!

I really like this poem! It resonates very much with me because I often find myself yearning for the easier times of childhood, teenage years and hell, even being back in university. Adulthood is hard. So yeah, the message of the poem is great.

I found your last stanza to be the strongest, both because of the message but also I found it to be my favourite in terms of rythm. I think because of the rhymning knee and tree, which I really liked. I found less rythm in the other stanzas, although I did really enjoy the first stanza too. Again, the message was really strong, and picture books sparking fascination of places to go is beautiful, especially at this point in time where going places is more tricky.

All that being said, I didn't think hushed tones of doom was the right end. It reads to me as though childhood is the only good thing, and it's all downhill from there, which I don't think is right. It's harder, more intense, more difficult to find balance perhaps, but not doomed. I li

I miss being a child

in awe of colors

bright in a new world,

With picture books

that sparked fascination

of all the places I’d go.

&amp;#x200B;

I miss receiving praise

while learning of

mankind’s secrets,

Still in a luscious glow

that basks in all of

youth’s glory.

&amp;#x200B;

I miss not fearing pain

when all the hurt known

was a scraped knee

after falling from a bike or tree,

Before knowing the truth

of the hushed tones of doom.

&amp;#x200B;

[https://soundcloud.com/user-405596783/i-miss-being-a-child-1](https://soundcloud.com/user-405596783/i-miss-being-a-child-1)

Feedback:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/l2l4wp/incoherent\_or\_good\_i\_cant\_tell\_feel\_free\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/l2l4wp/incoherent_or_good_i_cant_tell_feel_free_to/)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/l20xf2/oblivious/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/l20xf2/oblivious/)

I Miss Being a Child