Vice

The emotional roller-coaster of the confession of truth. Encapsulating what is happening now, the fear of the future being changed by the confession, the fear of the past as it is not re-shaped in light of the truth. ...And the difficulty of silence from the pulpit, holding it's breath in the confession booth, tersely waiting for you to leave.

Give them time. Sometimes it takes a very long time.

this poem has an ambiguous narrative. if I took a guess I would say that the narrator is confessing a vice, to who I'm not sure, and is instantly regretting their decision? I think your use of short descriptive lines i.e. "My heart pounds, My palms sweat, My mouth dries" were effective in portraying the anxious manic mindset of the narrator, and the words "My mind spins" really adds to that. The simile "thick, like oil" stood out for me the most because it conveyed powerful imagery. I like the smooth flow but maybe if it was a bit more distorted/messy it might even add to the "spinning mind" effect? the ending makes me think the narrator is disappointed as if he reached out for help to people who didn't really care. overall I enjoyed your poem.

Damn. If this is what I think it's about then this is brilliant, if a little brutal. Its tough when feelings aren't reciprocated, and you really carry that panic and immediate regret well is the words. I like the 'I's and What's' line too.

This poem took my breath away and was extremely haunting. I can understand this poem deeply, as I’m sure everyone has confessed something to someone that they wish they didn’t after the fact. I think that you conveyed your feelings very clearly. I like how each stanza conveys each ticking moment and the waiting game of you anticipating their response. My favorite lines are “a moment between moments” and “I reach out. They don’t” all in all I think that you expressed the feeling of unreciprocated love/feelings/etc perfectly and I really enjoyed this poem. Another thing I thought was interesting is how you kept on capitalizing Their or Them when referring to them.

[removed]

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.