Does anyone else feel they aren’t ready for this?

I hate pregnancy. I know some people feel their best when pregnant. I feel my utter worst. It's not fun.

I have an 18 month old and I LOVE being a mom. I was 100% ready. I've never once regretted having kids. There have been hard points for sure. But I found pregnancy the hardest part so far - harder than the newborn stage, harder than teething, harder than tantrums. During pregnancy, the crappy parts aren't outweighed by the cuddles and the smiles and the funny moments. Once the baby is actually here, they are.

Congrats on being pregnant! I’m a first time mom too, but personally… I think the pregnancy joy thing is a lie, written by men in advertising trying to sell us something! But I’m in the first trimester like you, and very sick. My friends further along do seem to be happier. 🤣

Everything felt really theoretical for me until my first ultrasound, and then hearing the heartbeat a few days later. After that I was way more excited.

Be kind to yourself and don’t place any expectations on how you should feel. You’re growing a baby, but you have time to grow into this new part of your life as well.

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This is so normal, as terrible as that sounds. Your whole life is about to change and you have no control over it or real concept to of what it’s going to be like. It’s totally okay to be freaking the f out! It doesn’t mean this feeling will last forever or you won’t love your child. Give yourself grace to process your feelings and try not to beat yourself up. This is a huge change in your life that our modern society doesn’t really prepare women for in the slightest. The joy comes, I promise!

Hey! This was exactly me around 32 weeks ago. 29, good job, happily married, financially secure, “ready for baby”, newly pregnant and suddenly very unsure about whether we were ready or if I even wanted kids. First trimester anxiety hit me BIG time. I spent another 11 weeks panicky. Eventually this totally went away and I calmed down and am now happily 37 weeks pregnant.

It’s normal to be scared/terrified/unsure. It’s a huge change and a big commitment but trust yourself. I’m sure you will feel better about the whole thing and it will become much more exciting than scary.

This was my situation 100%. Once the baby started kicking is when the love and attachment kicked in for me.. then when it came time for delivery, the dread came back. I didn't feel ready for it, wasnt ready for the commitment, etc.

If I am being totally honest, I was so exhausted after a 30 hour labor + some serious meds they had me on that made me out of it, I was somewhat indifferent when the baby was born. I was almost thinking "wait I need more time"

Then at the hospital my baby had pretty bad jaundice and we had to do UV light therapy which was terrible, and just like that all of the maternal love kicked in full force. I was just so sad for my baby and realized how much I loved him already.

Then when we went home I was going back and forth between excitement and dread, just being honest again. It took about 3 weeks before I was fully into it, because I was feeling more confident about my parenting abilities.

Fast forward to last week when my little one spent his first night away at grandmas house..he is only 7 weeks old and I had never been so sad. I missed him SO much more than I could imagine. That put things into perspective to where I just never want to part with him again

Just remember - hormones are a bitch. They give you ups and downs, and knowing that helps you manage the guilt that you might feel with it

This is 100% me. Before getting pregnant, I had serious baby fever and my biggest dream in life was to become a mom. I’m happily married and felt very confident and ready - until we actually got pregnant. Now that it’s real, I’m having a hard time being excited. I think I may have romanticized the idea of pregnancy and a baby, and now that it’s real, I’m more focused on the parts that won’t be fun, easy, or exciting. Part of me even wishes we had waited, even though before we were pregnant, I knew that it was exactly what I wanted. I don’t really have any advice, but I’m commenting for solidarity! I’m sure once we meet our little bundles of joy, we won’t want to picture life any other way.

Me! I'm about to turn 32. My husband and I were NTNP and I got pregnant my first cycle. So it wasn't completely unexpected (I just didn't expect it to happen so fast). We're in a decent place financially, but we don't have a house & I JUST finished my first year of teaching. It was exhausting and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage year 2 while pregnant/after I have a baby! Looking into the future as a working mom also scares me, but I don't really think I want to give up on my career after just starting out. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

I am excited, but I'm equally as anxious and nervous and scared. I also despise being pregnant so far. I always thought I would enjoy it, but it just sucks feeling like I'm lowkey hungover every single day.

Congrats!! My husband and I were about the same, we decided to... not "start trying" but "stop preventing" and it happened much sooner than expected! I am INSANELY grateful we got so lucky as I know it can be a struggle for a lot of people. But with it happening so fast it caught us both by surprise and now we're like... What have we done!?

After the initial freakout we are much better at 9 weeks now planning for our amazing future! So far there's been endless emotions both good and some bad but I know when our little chicken nugget shows up we are going to be ready! Having a wonderful support system around us too has been a huge help as well!

I think at this point... my biggest worry is I love being me? I'm worried once baby comes I'll just be MOM and lose everything else about me to focus on baby. Still trying to figure out how to deal with that one...

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First, congratulations! also commenting to see what other bumpers say about this. I know the first trimester sucks and I felt the same way. It wasn’t as magical/glowing/smooth sailing for me in the beginning when I had the expectation that it would be. It’s ok to feel scared and your feelings are completely valid...it’s kind of scary!

I started enjoying pregnancy in my second trimester after the nausea and superhuman sense of smell went away and I could feel baby move. Then third trimester it became really really real (holy shit, there is a baby inside my body) and was scared again. I think that there is a healthy ebb and flow of excitement to nervousness about being a first time mom. I’m 35+5 and feel motherly instincts flowing but I honestly don’t think I will necessarily feel ready until she gets here. So I’m reading through all these baby books to know what I can hope to expect and am just going to roll with it when I deliver. I don’t necessarily enjoy being a pregnant person but I know I will love the product of it. Maybe second/third etc moms can shed light on when they knew they were ready.

Wishing you all the best. Remember that you are creating life in your body, to allow yourself some grace and to be kind to yourself. ❤️

I’ve had an extremely easy pregnant. I just started showing about a month ago and I’m only 28 weeks now. I never had nausea, etc.

I still feel this way. I’m not ready to give up my freedoms that I once had with my SO. No more doing random things once LO is here. Now it’s all about LO, and less about my SO and I. It’s overwhelming.

I would think this feeling disappears after giving birth. Just know you’re not the only one.

Congratulations!

I’m 37 weeks and I cry when I think about it. I am SO excited but I am Terrified (capital T). Life is going change drastically overnight and I worry I will be unhappy. I think it’s normal to feel this way. Everyone says once you have your baby that’s all that matters.

My husband (35) and I (33) first started trying in 2018. It’s been a long road with bumps and pauses, but I’m currently 17+2. Even though this baby is so loved and wanted, I don’t feel ready most of the time!

I’m not sure you really know when you are “ready” in a definitive way. I’m 35 and still it feels too soon so I’m not really sure age has much to do with it either - once the baby arrives I think we can start adapting to the changes that come along with it, but with pregnancy it’s hard because the whole thing is still not materialized yet.

Just sending solidarity - pregnancy was planned but now that I’m actually pregnant I’m terrified and feel so unready! You’re definitely not alone.

I have 2 kids and there are still days/times when I don't feel ready to be a mom. I kind of just buckled in for the ride once they handed me the baby in the hospital and sent me off.

If it helps, my first is 4.5 years old and I live being his mom, but there are times when he wanders into the room asking, "Mommy, where did my balls go?" And I think there is no way I'm mature enough for this.

He meant his toy balls for those of you who think like me.

I'm with you. I don't even feel right posting here. I got a positive after an early miscarriage a couple months, and I'd tentatively put myself at 6 weeks. I have an ultrasound scheduled next week. Nothing feels real yet but I can't stop worrying. I honestly feel like time has slowed down immensely for me.

I FEEL YOU. We had decided we didn’t want to have kids… I have PCOS so I figured it wouldn’t happen anyway unless we really tried. We got married last September and I started feeling a little off in Feb but just kept waiting for Aunt Flo.. finally took a pregnancy test in March and got a BFP. We were completely shocked and just kept saying this wasn’t our plan… like it matters! Anyway our life plan has totally changed and we couldn’t be happier. I am also totally scared but have bookmarked tons of threads with tips for new parents. This Baby Bump thread is my bible. I think motherhood is something you truly can’t prepare for. No matter what I research I know my life is going to completely change and I won’t know how until it happens. I don’t feel like myself either but it’s a huge life change to adjust to. Just take some comfort in the fact that our bodies were made for this… I still don’t feel ready but I know it will come. Lots of my friends that are parents still say that its always new challenges and new experiences.