it takes seven years for skin to renew
but that’s too long to wait
to be untouched by you.
so everyday i bite my lips
i tear them off
with my fingertips.
why are you still here?
ps: help me name this one please? :)
Posted Jul 9, 2021, 6:25 AM UTC
This person surely must've taken a toll on your mentality. What an interesting way to describe the regret you feel towards the intimacy with this person. However, you ask at the end, "why are you still here?" Is there a reason they're still there? Is there a reason this person is lingering in your mind when you know, based on their character and your experience with them, that they shouldn't be? Sometimes the people who hurt us have such a grasp on our emotions and will work our mentality like play-doh, that we decide to turn a blind eye to their wrong doings. I think the better part of you wants to let them go and that's why you bite your lips and tear your skin, but your weaker parts are keeping you from forgetting them completely. "Why are you still here?" I read this like, "why can't I let you go?" Maybe I'm looking too deep into this, however, I enjoyed your poem. Keep writing more. You have such a good way at describing things. I also loved that this poem was short and sweet without any words that rhyme- my absolute favorite kind of poems. I like that it wasn't 15 sentences long and the length of the poem was just enough to get the point across without tiring the reader. Keep writing these short, strong poems that paint a vivid emotion, like the one you've done here. You did a great job.
you have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much for your feedback i can’t believe that someone wrote a whole ass paragraph about my poem haha. i think you got spot on what i was feeling when i wrote this, regarding the “why can’t i let you go” - emotions and mindset don’t always walk hand in hand and that’s one of the biggest internal conflicts we have don’t you think? thank you for all the kind words about my writing i treasure it so much! you are a gem of a human :)
"Your Kiss Still Lingers"
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Wow, savage. I misread the first part at first and thought it was going in a romantic direction, ie happy to still have the other person 'with' them. Boy was I wrong.
Re the title I think ghost of your lips would probably underline that expectation, and thereby make it's subversion more powerful?
hahah wow thank you for your feedback. nice to know it was a bit of a twist :) thanks!
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beautiful! i really like “ghost of your lips”
thank you so much for the suggestion:))
I like this, thanks for sharing. I read this like the speaker is trying to regain some control over its body - so in that way, it might be cool to title this similarly, like “devouring.” It kind of returns the power back to the speaker…in a black-widow kind of way, but also could be read that the person has devoured you.
i like that you interpreted in the way of regaining control. very interesting. thank you so much!!
Very touching poem. You perfectly described the deep pain that comes with trying to get on with your life while your heart is breaking.
thank you so much!!
I love this. The concept is original and your words really are evocative. I felt this poem. Kudos
gahh thank youuu!