r/OCPoetry•
rusojuyo

Hourglass

Time just keeps flowing,

The grains of sand are relentless,

And I feel like I’m still growing.

​

I futilely grasp at the gritty grains,

Yet they slip straight through my hands,

And time just keeps flowing.

​

I can sense the stinging salt on my back,

A sandstorm in a fishbowl,

And I feel the pain of growing.

​

I try to backtrack my path in the dune,

But hands of clocks beat me down.

Time. Must. Keep. Flowing.

​

I feel like I’m trapped, shackled, confined

In this brittle, glass Alcatraz,

Yet somehow I feel like I’m growing.

​

A lustrous shower of dull gold,

A finite rain of endless opportunity,

Since time just keeps flowing,

I feel like I’m still growing.

1 2

Posted Jul 28, 2021, 3:38 AM UTC

66
Richard_Nixon_13•

Hello,

Great poem! I like the line 'In this brittle, glass Alcatraz' the most. I think it really helped to paint the picture of time as a cage. Especially when paired with lines such as 'I feel like I'm trapped, shackled, confined'. In addition, I also found the juxtaposition in 'A finite rain of endless opportunity' to be a goldmine of symbolism, especially since 'rain' juxtaposes with words like 'sandstorm', at least to me. Anyway, I didn't mean to write you an essay, I just thought it was interesting. Thanks so much for brightening my day! Have a good one!

2
rusojuyoOP•

thanks richard nixon!

1
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1
[deleted]•

Your imagery is quite beautiful, I also love how you combine the duality of an hourglass and and the image of sand slipping through fingers to describe the lapse in time.

1
Seipher187•

It is beautiful... A glass alcatraz stands out to me... This prison we can break. Should break. Yet we are told it is unbreakable. As it is. Time is a relative as it is limited. You lost my by lack of creativity. Flowing, growing ... other forms could have been used to evolve the writing into the same and deeper meaning, chipping away at the fact of time, to what we take from that time we have had. Flowing and growing... Like a poem truly learned in knowing. Thanks for the share!!

1
shivadeth•

Feeling trapped yet growing nonetheless. This resonates with me a lot. Beautiful poem :)

1