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r/OCPoetry•
asearchforyou

Sometimes Love Is Saying Goodbye

Only one or two people know that we were ever together

but I still fondly remember

the morning

I woke up in your bed

with no memory of how I ended up in Canada.

​

You were wearing my Pokagon State Park t-shirt

and you had made me eggs,

and you kissed my lips,

and it felt to me

like the very first time I had fallen in love.

​

You could say, then, that we were out of sorts

in a lovely way, from the jump,

and I think that sounds

about right.

We were drawn to each other like lightning

​

to ground, but

there was always a tree

or a building

or a judgmental crowd in the way.

Honestly, one of us was always getting hurt.

​

And now we must admit

that we've broken off and resumed communications

more often than the US Government

and the, well, um, it's far too soon for that analogy,

but you know what I mean.

​

Anyway, I'm going on and on here.

What I'm really trying to say is..

I don't think your girls should go to school

beyond the age of 8.

I mean, I love you and goodbye.

1 2

Posted Aug 24, 2021, 1:45 PM UTC · edited

3615
hammadk1994•

Interesting. Is it directed toward a lover?

The line "I don't think your girls should go to school beyond the age of 8" confuses me.

favorite line: we were drawn to each other like lightning

5
Different_Total2241•

Confuse me too.

1
AlecVicari•

The beginning of the poem can leave the reader in mystery of what is too unfold and in the original moment, can leave one confused but as the writing goes on, the feeling of search exemplifies through your words and structure.

After finishing, I wanted to go back and read it again. I did.

I find confusion in the last stanza, but maybe that is the message here. Love doesn’t always make sense in perspective

4
asearchforyouOP•

I find confusion in the last stanza, but maybe that is the message here. Love doesn’t always make sense in perspective

Thank you, I think that's an interesting observation.

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SignUpHero•

The most wonderful part to me about this poem is that I know with 100% certainty that I will never fully understand it because it's not meant for me. There are some parts of this poem I resonate with personally, but the overall story sounds so personal to you. You even mentioned it when you said "Only one or two people know that we were ever together, but I still fondly remember". For some reason, this poem brought this feeling to my attention so much more than others and I don't know why. Great job!

3
lookitthrough•

I love how this might be sort of a break up poem, but I feel like the two individuals care about each other still. Might me anger in this...I guess this is just an understanding of how love can trail off? So it's directed at someone you use to be with?

2
BoopserStrikesBack•

Loved the first two stanzas. I think we’ve all had a moment like that with someone. The reflection in this is interesting. I like that anyone can read it but only one person will really understand it.

2
manWO52•

I enjoy the nostalgic, almost dreamy tone that the first few stanzas bring. I believe that they are relatable and I immediately begin to smile and feel whimsical when reading the beginning.

Favorite part: “but there was always a tree or a building or a judgmental crowd in the way.” I think it’s a smart way of describing how people and also physical structures can both be barriers in the emotional realm.

2
benji582•

I had fun reading how the story unfolded. Magical perspectives from a soul that knows what love is.

2
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[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
asearchforyouOP•

I just can't get any feel from "I don't think your girls should go to school beyond the age or 8"

There isn't really any feeling meant there. It's just a joke meant to clarify and drive home the unfinished analogy from the earlier stanza. We've broken off and resumed our communications more often than the US Government [and the Taliban.]

1
bootstraps17•

Ah, but that is the thought, that abrupt turn that demands the reader's attention. It is a shocking statement without context. That is why respondents are so focused on its meaning and intent. Joke or not, the entirety of the piece unravels on it. I got quite a bit of feels with that line, but in a very unsettling way. Then in the final line you retract the statement. Been there in a relationship, saying something stupid out of anger and off the cuff, intentionally hurtful and unfiltered, only to backpedal.

5
C873•

It's an interesting poem, really. Very personal. But I'm not sure that's it's very effective. I'm not one to generally critique, but it just seems bland.

1
Different_Total2241•

the feelings that the poem arouses are its strongest, the impression of a memory of a time of love, if I understood correctly. But the structure needed improvement, a certain cutting.

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