[2090] All-Star

Hi everyone, I've been away from writing for about five years and I'm trying to shake off the rust. Here's the first passage from a short story that I describe as Moneyball with a soft sci-fi influence.

Here's the link to the story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qvp5jsqUTU4DoLyaJ_HuJ5fZM_ETxLEvAdefn2Ryo1U/edit?usp=sharing

Here are some of my recent critiques:

[1101] Into the Alley

[881] Looking for Leeches

[1577] Goodbye Horses