Lonely?

I adore this poem so much. I've been feeling a very similar way lately. It was like you read my mind and wrote it out. I love the imagery of the "Plants, animals, and people dance". it gives a sense of unity, which is really comforting. The poem ends on a hopeful note, which I also enjoy.

I like how positive your poem is, the rhyme scheme is a bit awkward because it’s not consistent but the thoughts are clear and fairly easy to pick up on which is the most important thing. Thank you for sharing

Very nice. I don't usually endure the first person (or even the title, which is kind of....cliched ) HOWEVER You got me! Thank you.

The rhyme scheme mellows with the primary surrounding of loneliness. How other forms of life flow around us, making us feel enveloped with our surroundings. Feeling a vibrant connection in the realm around you. These true feelings swarm over us which means were truly not alone.

I don’t have any critique I just wanted to say this is beautiful thank you for posting it <3

I really like the rhythm of this one, very lilting, like a leaf being tossed around by a gentle breeze.

The structure is immaculate

Nice poem, thanks for sharing. I think the title, lonely with a question mark, works nicely with the body of the poem.

I think the imagery of leaves on a tree could be stronger. What about the leaves on the tree makes the speaker realize that they're not alone and that a lot of life is free? Were they out on a walk, or sitting inside looking out a window? Did the leaves rustle in the wind? Also, I'm struggling to relate to life being "free".

As far as the last line goes, personally, I don't feel loneliness as a dream. To me, loneliness is something felt quite deeply, and is something I often try to avoid (although solitude I can enjoy). If you mean a dream as in something not quite real, then I can understand why you wrote it in this way. But again, the imagery could be more convincing, I suppose.

Overall I enjoyed the poem and I think it's a lovely and thought-provoking piece about a beautiful oneness in the world.

So much truth to this

Thank you for posting this poem, I have no critic on rhyming structure or anything like that as I’m a beginner and I don’t think I have the authority on such things yet; but I know this poem made me feel good.

I feel kind of dumb but I often find myself looking at a single pigeon foraging or just tottering around and I feel sad; I feel sorry for it? It must be so lonely? Where does it go at the end of the day? What it like being that solitary? Where are it’s “friends”, does it feel like me? And I know this is silly, but this is what this poem made me think of.

Maybe empathises on loneliness or shame is a human construct? It’s okay to feel alone, to be alone.

Oh, hi there; didn't see you! You've reached r/OCPoetry. This is a workshop site where you can share, read, and talk about eachother's poetry & etc. To post your own poems, you need to give feedback to 2 other writers. If you aren't trying to share, you're encouraged to give feedback, but aren't required. Try to be nice, questioning, and specific. If you can't do that - eat a cabbage and come back later. Try to give feedback to a writer without any feedback. Lastly, read our feedback guide , other writer's comments, or this author’s feedback links. If you still aren't sure whether your comments are useful ‘feedback’, or you have any other questions, send us a modmail!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hello there :)

I just wanted to tell you that I like your poem. I have often thought that I felt lonely, but what I might have been was bored. Once I look around a realize the mistake I made, I retreat back into my self inflicted solitude. I like the imagery of the rhythm and the dance and how everything is connected. It makes me think of all of the times I have been lonely and realized that I am connected to an infinite amount of people through the internet. While not as natural as the metaphor with the leaves of a tree, it is comforting. One thing that did trip me up was your rhyming scheme and how you have AC, BD and then BC for rhyming lines. However that might be my OCD.

[deleted]