Two heathens without a prayer

I can't stop reading this gripping mini-screenplay. Key noun verb combinations including tore, fog, and bike relay a dizzying adrenaline rush. It seems as if the speakers are racing on a motorbike - there's two of them - but it's possible that they could be sharing a non-motorized bicycle. Our thrill-seekers appear not to care about the speed limit or their own safety. Rather, their appetite for risky activities overrides any socially wired concerns.

Your sharp, angular contrast between a religious habit and a pagan duo draws me in like a sudden inhale. We, you, I, you, we, and two kickstart each line, stirring the pot even more. Alternating pronouns intensify the anticipation because each one forces readers to lean in. We feel compelled to try and wrap their minds around the unfolding, amped up event.

I like the measured use of italics in going and foreshadowing, the only present continuous verbs in this piece. Grasping at straws here, I would suggest removing or modifying the last line so as to reintroduce the title in a different light.

On the whole, I have no quibble with your content or your style. Rock on!

Interesting... Really puts me in the moment myself as I got goosebumps in the fog. I like the end as a hint to what the whole thing means. Two heathens without a prayer- like two lost souls sort of no direction or path truly set in life yet just wandering off together into the world alone yet.. together.

Very well done

two heathens without a prayer,,, i see it as two free souls without a care in the world. which is what so many of us want to be, someone that doesn't know, and doesn't care, but we have so much to care. i felt like in a fog today, but your poem made me smile

What a great opening line! Fog on bike is not something I can remember seeing before. Only advice would be to remove lines two and three. Rely on the fog image for conveying the directionlessness of the journey.

Enjoyed this!

To believe is to live.Truth is or it is not.

The word choice makes you feel like you’re there. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen people experiment with different font choices. The italicized words bring it together. Excellent 👍

the imagery here is incredibly strong! the poem to me is just the right length, and it creates a snapshot of an intimate moment made grand by memory. my only problem would be with the italicization, i think. i don't really know what your intent was, but to me it just made me intone the italicized words differently? and the weight didn't really benefit the flow of the poem, it made it feel a bit lumpy. i think you need to move around with the italicization to either make your intent more clear or less disruptive. it works the first time, but not so much the second.

I found the poem short ,sweet yet for some reason a little bit poignant. the word fore shadowing adds a bit of mystery and ambiguity which i found really intersting

The word foreshadowing seems to be italized if so is there a reason?

Two heathens without a prayer is such a wonderful line i wish it hought if it before. looking forward to read more of your works

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This made me smile a lot :)

You bring a certain essence of life to you writing hear and paint a distant memory of lost carelessness that I long for