I'd never lie to you so, this poem isn't a masterpiece as far as it's structure or wording. But it does offer something very raw. I think the poem is a great expressive piece and it gives an insight into your feelings. It was interesting to read, and I would give you a hug if I saw you friend. Here's what I have to say, you have the essence of a great poem here it just needs some spunk so play with word choice and phrasing a bit.


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I really enjoy poetry about the feeling of loneliness, especially when captured in a way that isn’t exclusively “woah is me, I’m so alone, I’m so sad”. I think you nailed this. It shows both a desire for connection while also an independence of sort. I’ll admit, I’m relatively new to poetry so I don’t have much advice in terms of the cadence of the poem itself, but I am appreciative of the atmosphere created. Nice job!

I hear the battle between the three of you.  The one that wants love, the one that wants solitude, and the one watching it all go down.  I can tell you're stepping outside yourself.  Great place to write from.  Thanks for sharing!

I love how it makes you feel lonely without being so obvious. I don't really like poems that basically just say ,,uh im lonely".
This poem also portraits how even if you want or need something it's hard to ask for it.
Andit shows the duality of needing something but being scared/repulsed by it.

"How to know what to do when I don't know what's happening?"

I look behind me for answers but see nothing but a blank screen.

I enjoy being alone, but long for company

A hug is all I want, but please just let me be.

I want someone to know, to tell me what's going on,

Lead me back before I'm too gone.

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s1gw5n/comment/hs8o2rz/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s1gw5n/comment/hs8o2rz/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s1g3g9/comment/hs8fogj/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s1g3g9/comment/hs8fogj/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

What's up with me?