No amount of guilt can solve the past. No amount of anxiety can change the future.

I would love to get a peek into the inside of your brain haha. Magnificent stuff- speechless, really.

"Melbourne" caught me off guard, before I recognised the username (I'm new to this sub and already bad with names besides). "Warm raindrops" feels particularly close – plenty of those hanging around here lately.

I like "stable disequilibrium" – it's a great descriptor for everything that's been going on the last two years – but it's a little awkward rolling off the tongue. Not sure there's much you could do to fix that without ruining the subversion though. Perhaps play around with the lineation there?

"heat of a socio-political inferno" seems slightly redundant; infernos are generally already understood to be hot. This is weird but I somehow feel "socio-political" might sit better with me unhyphenated. A bit less formal perhaps?

Mostly personal taste, but the "yet" in "untroubled, yet vibrant" feels slightly prosaic to me. Maybe you could just elide it?

Rather forced nitpicks aside, this is a fantastic poem!

Jesus Christ and you're the same age as me. That's so depressing.

This is really beautiful! I love how you start contrasting nature with the container and end up almost marrying them into the same idea. Truly a wonderful poem.

I really enjoyed this. I think we have a very similar writing style, although admittedly you might be better. I read it three times and the only critique I can think of is the conversion from hectares to acres. The plot of land seems somewhat unimportant. I understand importance of expressing the level of isolation you two have from the rest of the world initially, but reiterating it a second time with a different unit of measurement feels like too much.

P.S. I say this only because criticism is encouraged by the mods. I loved it.

I really enjoyed this image. Sitting in a container with the earth transporting you on a short journey through nature.

I like how the lines shorten as the poem progresses, finishing with a gentle stop and a feeling of tranquillity.

Really painted the picture in my head :) spent all day looking at weird airbnbs to stay in so this really got me. Good flow & separation

warm ^_^

Luscious use of words. It conveys a story pretty effortlessly, one with depth though, achieved particularly brilliantly by the fifth stanza. It's after that stanza that the piece lags ever so, but the penultimate stanza picks it up before the "blissful" payoff. I'm curious what your thought was, if any, of how to structure the piece. Or did you just allow it to free-flow? How did you decide the turn the lines? I found meaning in this poem, well done.

It’s interesting The inanimate-ness of the mind Amongst nature and friends A mingling of Beings Becoming One Within and without … The animation of the Soul

Absolutely loved your intro... it took my breath away to see what would come next. Great work, keep writing and sharing!

As constructive criticism, i’ll say that “the heat of a socio-political inferno” was a tiny bit on the nose and took me out of a little bit. But, that very well may have been your intention! Anyways, nice work!

Dude this is like ridiculously similar to a spontaneous Airbnb trip I made with someone I was seeing. They decided shortly after the trip that we shouldn’t see eachother anymore, but this poem happening so close to this happening and deeply cutting is cutting deep. Good work dude.

Bravo! This definitely brings my mind on an adventure. There is rhythm to your word choice.

Trippy delivery that makes you feel contention in the beginning but peaceful and relaxed at the end.

Your imagery was amazing. I love the lines: The last two years had carried the weight/
of a decade, and we laid them to rest/with the lightness of a minute; especially!

Nice! I like the imagery of "we were the freight," being transported away from our troubles! The only thing that was a bit jarring for me was that, excluding the final line, the whole thing is tercets except for the one stanza which is a quatrain. I don't know if there was some intention for this?

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