I wish I didn't imagine.

When I finally find a t-shirt I like, I wish I didn't imagine the sweat shops, the child labour, the concentration camps, the appropriation of ideas, what people might think of my choice, what people might think of my body.

When I think about what's for dinner, I wish I didn't imagine the factory farming, the carbon footprint, the pesticides, the decimation of forests, the calories, the proteins, the fats.

When I get out of bed, I wish I didn't imagine the noise of my steps as I walk for the neighbours downstairs, that if I can hear the neighbours TV next door then they could hear my speakers if I ever turned them up, that the land around me is owned by everyone but me and the rent is due and all the money I'm giving away and that I'll never earn enough to have something of my own.

When I go to work, I wish I didn't imagine a slowly spinning cog in a machine that touches just barely enough to function, yet still it contributes to the machine that kills and starves and pollutes and destroys, that I'm feeding the people that drive this machine through the hopes and dreams of others.

When I meet strangers and colleagues, I wish I didn't imagine the bad day they are going through to explain how rude they are in that moment, the pressure they must be under so I shouldn't push back even as they push me and push me, the justifications for the words they say and the actions they take and the votes they make and wouldn't I be that way too if I was them? Oblivious?

When I meet my friends I wish I didn't imagine how they'd react if I found a way to be oblivious too.

I wish I didn't imagine ways.

I wish I didn't imagine.

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I feel like the concept is stronger than the execution, and I'm not sure if it needs that last line or whether it's implicit from the title... but I'll leave the critique to you good people. Sorry if it's a little angsty.