[3100] Never To Leave Me

Hello RDR,

This is the second draft of a story with Black Mirror vibes.

I'd like to keep the word count at or below 3000 by the final draft. But I'm worried whether:

- I've trimmed out too much exposition and what's going on is a bit vague (or alternatively, whether the exposition which does occur is a bit on-the-nose)

- Elements of the story which involve "inflated numbers" (you'll know when you see it), which I included to cultivate a certain mood, feel like red herrings and distract from the core plot

- The climax (when Charlie Cole gets up close and personal with the narrator) is too ambiguous to convey the intended theme of >!the passing of trauma from one generation/individual to another.!<

As a reader, I'd be interested in your interpretation of the theme(s), what was and what wasn't clear, any elements which interrupt the tone or pace, and any glaring eyesores in the prose.

Content Warning: One instance of non-graphic sexual assault

[removed]

Critiques: [789] A Rat Smoking A Cigarette, [2328] Pornography At The Close of the 21st Century [952] A Sex Scene In A Sci-Fi Crime Thriller [760] Chapter Excerpt from NA Fantasy

(I know the 'effort' of my critique on Pornography at least is questionable, so I've opted for overkill.)

For those of you who do, thanks for reading and/or sharing your thoughts on my work.