[907] Untitled Urban Fantasy

Hi all!

I shared a post last week and got incredible feedback, but wanted to try a different section of the piece that I'm now considering as the opener (it's a multi-POV Urban Fantasy, as an FYI!)

Issues I'd love critiques on:

• pacing - too fast? too slow?
• balance of action vs. character's narration
• any spots where the prose felt clunky/didn't make sense
• world-building - too much of a focus?
• knowing this will have additional edits/revisions, do you, as a reader, like this as an opening scene?

Here's the snippet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vHuo7R1Q1wX7CfXXLfrzcODaibHTofq9PalyHdNma2U/edit?usp=sharing

Here's my critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/txbvy9/comment/i3tmlc0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

And if you want to check out the other piece I submitted, here it is: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/tvk7ou/1010_urban_fantasy_opener/