epigenetics

The few other times that I’ve seen work about epigenetics, there seems to be an almost optimistic perspective about how our choices can change us even at a cellular level. Yet this piece seems to have the opposite point – that our choices, even while they may change the presentation of certain traits, don’t have an influence on any mechanism that really matters. The narrator seems to see genes as “uncaring” in the sense that none of our choices change the fact that our telomeres are shortening with each round of cell division (i.e., that we will die). With each breath of life that we take, each movement within the dream, we are slowly and unstoppably dying. Even when we “shield” these telomeres, we can never stop the march of our genes towards our demise. The emphasis on wedding invitations/trips to Fiji almost seemed to try to remind readers to create and/or embrace meaningful moments because our energy/time will end sooner than we think.

There were a few lines that I didn’t feel added a whole lot to clarifying or expanding on these general themes. For example, “pollen lost to the wind” didn’t feel necessary after the preceding line. The lines “Every ten base pairs or so,//you have to twist//shielding your telomeres with your sleeve-” confused me slightly since my understanding is that telomeres are only at the end of chromosomes and I’m not sure how the twists of the double helix (or “you”?) relate to that. So maybe my criticism is just that I think this poem could be more refined by asking the question of how each line and word choice relates to the overall themes you’re trying to relay to your readers. Removing or modifying lines/words to enhance communication could really make this piece shine, in my opinion.

I always love seeing “scientific” poetry, and this one was particularly fun to think about. Thanks for posting, OP!

This has a wonderful ‘mad scientist’ vibe to it! I’m loving the mixture of DNA sequence and eloquent writing, it makes for an interesting contrast. ‘The dream is corrosive, a haemorrhage of dread’ is my favourite line, similar to how the other commenter said, it really packs a punch.

A small criticism would be to pay just a little more attention to syllable counts, as some lines comes across a bit stilted and don’t quite flow into the next one. Overall, a great piece!

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This is a punchy poem! I love it’s ‘quickness’ and rhythm. I was worried at first by the typographically articulated genetic stuff (I’m no scientist!) but the writing grabbed me! I don’t know what a ‘telomere’ is - and while sometimes I’m happy to let that go here I did want to know - could you use a different word? Or add a little context? I appreciate what I read as a theme about our subjective human concerns (plane tickets and wedding invites) in relation to the ‘rationalist intelligence’ of genes, that is what come through most strongly to me. Thanks!

I love your poem. I love the personality embued into it. I love the weird comparison of genes to some kind of uncaring entity. I love the knowledge you have of genes. The way it makes me feel is as if I were the author themselves, if only for a short period of time. Thank you for writing this poem.