I like the finishing line, “I am overflowing with me”. It makes me turn your imagery within.

This is deep. I love the relation to the bodies of water. Really creative. The effect on me as reader is that sense of loss where you feel sad and you want to let it out but aren't able to yet. There's a sense of numbness that is all too relevant. You have captured an air of my self. I see me in this poem.

I really like ‘left lesser by their splash’! It’s no problem at all, I hope you can find something you’re satisfied with!

Funnily enough that's also the one line I keep looking at possibly wanting to change. I am thinking of something along the lines of "left lesser by their splash" instead of "but it hurts to be stomped in" because I agree that it has a redundancy to it but not sure yet. Thanks for your feedback!

The repetition works beautifully for this poem. I enjoyed the simplicity of it, since I feel like it complements the water imagery well- it’s hard to describe but I got a sense of clarity from it. All around a great concept that you executed well.

My only criticism would be the wording of ‘momentary joy for those who stomp in me // but it hurts to be stomped in’. This reads stiffly compared to the rest of the poem’s elegant simplicity. The repetition feels amateur rather than intentional here.. I might suggest rephrasing it to 

‘Momentary joy for those who stomp in me // but it hurts to be downtrodden.’

this seriously transmits lots of emotions. I like how you connected all the words together

I felt myself kind of reliving growing up.   It’s a calling back to that life cycle- for me anyway.  

I always enjoy the repetition in poetry; if it works- and it does here.   It helps create that tension- because it signals that big things take time to make (drip. Drip. Drip). 

Great work. One of my favs.

I feel this has a really understated/subtle ebb and flow with each stanza. Powerful poem, I really like it

It’s well structured , taking us from one image to another, starting each time by the same repetition and going from the most dry to the most “watery” so I can see the escalation there too . Slowly going back to the beginning of your poem and ending with it : the lake. Brilliantly closing the circle

I love how this turns something that is considered so sad and repurposed and described in a variety of things, showing that tears aren't all that bad, sometimes. The repetition did serve a helpful purpose and reinforcing the fact that your tears will come, your tears will repeat. 

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This is a well laid out poem and I give it a 10/10. :)

Your poem is lyrically soothing and  quite pictoral.Also it has a flow that doesn't feel forced at all..The imagery of the lake is one I can resonate it,it represents personal growth for me. 
The choice of words are not repetitive,so that's a plus point in my opinion.
The ending line is important,for one needs to love oneself before caring for others and your personal growth in turn has increased your lust for life.

Your poem is simple and deep. Your repetition is effective and I like the metaphor of the lake. At first, I feel the tone is tragic but in the last stanza, it seems to me that the narrator sounds hopeful? I am only guessing here.

The repetition is on point, brilliant I must say.   
the growth over the poems feels genuine.   
and little context with every state is also lit.

I personally liked the "a lake becomes" part of your stanzas because they do not explicitly say what a lake becomes but its many implications make the poem interesting. "A lake becomes" could just mean that a lake is created from tears or a lake of tears becomes the narrator's whole being, from what I inferred. It was also interesting to see the personification throughout, puddle being stomped like the narrator has been emotionally or the dessert lacking the water to cry(as if to say emotionless). Good job.

Great poem. Love the continuity of it. This is obviously just my interpretation I'm sure among many others:

* From being a desert akin to not knowing oneself and having no emotion hence being unable to cry to finding it and becoming a puddle.
* As a puddle, connecting with many people and understanding your true self (often being stepped on by others) to realizing these emotions are not for you but being encumbered with them anyway.
* Although you do not weep, you're now a river of emotion and do not know which way to flow. You know who you are now and you're doing the best you can to hold on and resist the tempting ocean of giving in (to cry).
* And now, you are an overflowing lake and it seems impossible not to let yourself out.

For me, it spoke of the annoyingly unrelenting desire to let emotions out once one gets to know themselves. Thank you for this amazing poem.

I absolutely adore the evolution of the speaker into the lake. I like how the speaker juxtaposes the line "drop by drop, a lake becomes" with describing themselves as not the lake. It led me to interpret the poem is about looking up to someone or some status perhaps perceived as better than their own - longing to reach that status.   


The final stanza in this interpretation seems to describe the horror of finally achieving that status - and how it maybe wasn't what the speaker had in mind.

I really enjoyed this. Its well written, well formed and structured. " over flowing with me" my favorite line. Real nice work

I like the metaphors a lot. And connecting it to overflowing and other statements. I greatly enjoyed this. I enjoy the repetition.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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yes, we get a story, a progression, but with the stanza separation, its also like we get a snapshot into a moment in time, suspended, not above the others as it flows to the next stage or journey, but connected through the others as each moment builds on the next. 

I always feel connected to water- ...since the time I was little; and something about the rain feels rejuvenating to the soul, let alone there's no better way to fall asleep than with the heavy rain upon a roof... -so when I read the first line, I was already drawn in. 

My favorite part though was: 

"*momentary joy for those who stomp in me/but it hurts to be stomped in*" it feels contemporary and almost curt in tandem with the finished piece and yet still you get emotions flowing fluidly: sometimes there is no better way to say something than directly. 

beautiful piece! thank you for sharing.

Drop by drop, a lake becomes

But I cannot cry - 

I am the desert. 

Signs of life are sparse, only 

Necessary for survival. 


&amp;nbsp;


Drop by drop, a lake becomes

So I do not cry - 

I am a puddle. 

Momentary joy for those who stomp in me

But it hurts to be stomped in. 


&amp;nbsp;


Drop by drop, a lake becomes

Though I do not cry - 

I am a river. 

Resisting my current 

To give it all to an ocean. 


&amp;nbsp;


Drop by drop, a lake becomes

How could I not cry? 

I am the lake now. 

I am full, not spread thin. 

I am overflowing with me

&amp;nbsp;


[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ujzrj2/z/i7n8nw9)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ui5zjb/z/i7ar13j)