I remember going fishing with my dad when I read this poem. Those are some of the better memories with him, so I thank you for that. I also wanted to say that I like the pay it forward message. I think that's a very important lesson to living in harmony with nature. Although the meat industry is a cancerous blight on the Earth right now, there was a time when having to capture your own food was the only way to get by, and being grateful was an important piece to maintain that balance with nature. Overall, great poem for what it evokes, yet I think it can be improved through some wordsmithing. Say the same thing, just refine it through a lens.

I appreciate the point and I, too, believe that ideas of reincarnation taint the beauty and pain of a single, brief existence.

However, that's not what the final line is about. It's about the Trout acknowledging the hierarchy of nature, almost encouraging the author to take his rightful place in that hierarchy. The trout is not commenting on reincarnation or the afterlife; he's using it as a tool to comfort the author. I hope that makes sense.

I like this a lot.  I am about to rant like a crazy person, but please understand this is $not directed at you, at all.  anything you did. 

I hate concepts of reincarnation. Hate.  Hate hate hate. 

The entire conceit of the human. condition is that the clock is ticking, and it only. runs one way. Reincarnation. disrupts human motivation. 

I think your fish should acknowledge that his existence is ephemeral, like, " There will be other trout, other days,  and you will be ok"

Granted, I am probably the only person here who would fixate on this extremely.moor point.

i love the conversational style! makes this poem read more intimate, which makes sense since this seems like a pivotal moment in ur childhood.

I love the way you put depth into a seemingly small moment. It's a moment that many people wouldn't think twice about, but you took the time to give it meaning. Also, I love the ending line, it really made me think. :)

You're a good sport. Well done in nobly defending your fundamental principle views. We have an irreconcilable philosophical difference here which no amount of arguing will resolve. 

One quick thing, the moral dilemma is still in play notwithstanding the trout's advice (i.e. the narrator may still choose to be compassionate).

First, thank you for engaging. 

>Firstly, there is a threshold philosophical question as to whether there are any "fundamental tru[isms]" that one may explore

When I say that a poem should be 'true,' it has more to do with *authenticity*. I did not explain that in my original post, so thank you for calling me out on it. Essentially, I believe the quality of authenticity is what invites the reader to contribute to finding meaning in the poem. Authenticity is created in the beginning of the poem through the care expended in creating the voice of the father and the unreality (which is still authentic) of reaching into the water. But when the poem explicitly attributes beauty to the trout and then projects "advice" onto the "whisper" of the trouts eye, I feel this quality is lost because *I* am no longer living in the poem; I am a captive audience being subjected to the author's interpretation of the moment. I am reminded of the poem's artifice, and thus that authenticity or 'truth' is d

I do not understand this commentary. Firstly, there is a threshold philosophical question as to whether there are any "fundamental tru[isms]" that one may explore (in simple terms, what is true is actually, in my view at least, a more subjective consideration than too many like to think). The writer acknowledges this in one sense when they state that they exit the human world and enter the trout's - those worlds represent different versions of reality in which truths are not so fundamental as what has been asserted. Secondly, this analysis breaks the poem down in an arbitrary way that is consistent with high school teaching of which I have always had a personal aversion. Strict rules prohibit truly creative thought and expression, so when one advocates for the idea that there is a right way to take a poem, I vehemently disagree. The contrast between the real and fantastical here is what makes the trout's sage advice so profound. The line stating that the narrator dips his hand below th

The setup of this poem is strong in that you've created a particular moment filled with some stakes and a crisis/conflict. Starting with dialogue is a bit of a risk, but you follow it up with an image so it works out. By line two, I'm reading to a) figure out how the moment will resolve and b) look for specific details that will communicate something fundamentally *true* about the world explored through the lens of this particular moment.

Thus, when you veer off into the fantastic at the end, attributing some meaning to the 'whisper' of the trout's eyes, I believe you've failed to capitalize on the scenario. Good poetry often uses the particular to make gestures toward an understanding of something universal. In this way, a poem about someone fishing with their father becomes a microcosm of some greater Truth or shared feeling--the thematic concepts of fear, childhood, fatherhood, humanity's interaction with the natural world, etc., are all evoked, and it's up to you, I think, to wiel

Thank you, although I hope you don't mean 'feminine' in a pejorative sense.

What I got from this poem is the feeling of how rare it is when a father tries to help you feel your true worth, show you that your special, and/or show that they are proud/impressed of you. The trout is a support filled factor that will make a father feel impressed of you for x amount of time. I feel
a feminine energy in this poem.

Please don't let it be your last. Let your memories and heart guide you, as they did with this beautiful, heartfelt poem! I too could see my Dad fishing as I read your poem. Thank you so much! :)

This was my first attempt at poetry. Thank you for your kind words.

Beautiful poem. The message stands out clearly and it is easy to empathise with the narrator.

Poetry is all about making us feel. I would go so far as to say that this is the only metric of success for poetry. No "wordsmithing" is needed when a poem evokes emotion. This poem did that for me and I would therefore advise keeping it in its current state.

I find that at times the users on this page prefer form over substance. They prefer the use of complex language and stylistic devices over simple, understandable language that puts a lump in your throat. Stylistic devices such as metaphors and figurative language can help to engender emotion but by no means are they a requisite for good poetry. If your poetry strikes a chord, it is a good poem. 

Your poem strikes a chord

So it is a good poem.

I saved this, and have been meaning to get into it -

What a refreshing read-  the conversational tone the poem opens with set me up for a nice little electric shock with that line about the speaker's hand leaving one world and entering another - that tactile, sensory detail of the fingers on the line is a perfect setup for something so lofty as leaving one world and entering another. You have to anchor something like that to a real, specific thing and you've done this successfully. 

I think this is also a perfect example of how language can be conversational in a poem, and still cut- in fact it should! The way you've written this is so much more relatable because the speaker could be anyone, someone we know ... speaking. "Poetic" language is a real turn off for me, and without it, the core of a poem can get down to the business of telling a story. "Good man", "give it a belt" - perfect.

There is a sense of a child's coming of age, and of seeking approval, or going against the natura


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

**The Trout** 

"Dip your hand in and grab it; it's more afraid of you than you are of it".

My fingers run along the line until they leave my world and enter the icy-cool water of the Trout's.

His body stiffens in my palm as I lift him out. 

"Good man", says Dad, "now give it a belt with this".

Beautiful creature.

The Trout's eyes whisper "I'm not the one who's afraid here - do it for him and pay me back in the next life."

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v65pta/comment/ibdy928/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v318m8/comment/ibdxhv0/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)