This is why I love poetry. Even in its rawest form it’s a window. I’d make “can’t I just be your son” a single line. Make it the doorstop of the poem. You can also put an “and” before “lifeline” which will add flow.


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I enjoyed this one because it felt like reading a stream of uninterrupted/unfiltered thought. The flow and lack of punctuation gets across that sense of emotional pleading.

Brb gonna go print this for my wall. I love the way this is written. The reader wouldn’t feel the same frustration and burn out within this word count if it were written any other way.

of being

your


mentor

therapist

judge 

and jury

carrier pigeon

soap box

lifeline


cant i 

just be your

son?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v68u2t/the_trout/ibekkf5/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v6bit0/whats_your_number/ibek3ek/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

im tired