I tend to like writing small poems, for some reason or another, and I'm glad someone liked reading it as well!

I love this poem. It's short and sweet, yet also well written. A rare combination!

Short and sweet its mixes in together and was really enjoyable

Thank you!
I chose the title before actually writing the poem, and then tried to see just how much I could work around with the word "half". The intention was initially to signal that the other person is the "other half" of the writer, but then I went in another direction but decided to stick with the title.

I love the ambiguity of whether the narrator wants these things/qualities in themself or if they want “you” and all “your” qualities around me.  It’s like the old saying “the girls wanna be with him, the boys wanna be him,” all in one person (potentially).    I don’t really have much criticism, I just really enjoyed this!  I guess the one thought that does occur to me, should the title be “half of me” or “half of *you*?”  Or even “half of us.”  Either way, beautiful work, thanks for sharing!


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

I did wonder if I was pushing the final rhyme a little bit too hard. It actually didn't occur to me that British, American or any English speakers would probably read it differently, since I'm not a native English speaker myself.
But now I'm wondering if I can rework it somehow to have it fit in more cleanly.
Thank you for the feedback!

I love the twist, first seeming that you want to be like the person and have their qualities but instead wanting the person as a partner. I think it's a shame that the rhyme got lost at the end, I think it would be lovely if you could rework it a little to keep the rhyme but I think it's a very beautiful poem

(edit: I realise now how in an American accent have and half would probably rhyme, so apologies from my British internal monologue - but it's good reminder to me that rhymes can get lost depending on the location of the reader)

I feel like so often we see yourselves as wanting to just be like someone else and your poem has done a great job at showing that. We all always view someone as better than them and we all struggle with that. Your poem does a great job at explaining envy.

The simplicity of the lines hides how deep this runs.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

This poem hits how I feel about almost every person I meet, and kinda exposes my own self confidence issues in my own abilities, but explains how I feel so well. Definitely haven't connected with a poem like this one in a while.

I wrote the poem with a somewhat "hoppity" rhythm going from line to line, jumping from one line to the other, and I may have overdone the line breaks. 
But I ended up liking the overall slim form and decided to keep it. 
Thank you!

i think this would better fit as part of a song. there’s a few lines in here that seem to be laboured with the rhythm of the poem. eg. ‘i wish i had/ half your jokes/ half your humour/ your silly jokes’ just doesn’t seem to flow that well. besides that a good poem tho.

We all stumble, but we never fail. If whomever is but half awake, and halfway reads what we all see...

You got that more than half of halfway there.

The rest you must see.

EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v717ew/pathetic/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

This is a really nice, short and sweet poem. I really like the rhyming especially in the first verse

This is beautifully written. The ending could really stamp its place as a great poem. Great set up as well I love a nice short poem with no major exaggerations

This is such a beautiful and sweet poem. I could relate to it so much. I like how you've used repetition to convey your feelings. Keep writing!

I wish I had  
half your wit,  
and your passion  
just a bit.  

I wish I had  
half your love,  
just a little  
gentle touch.  

I wish I had  
half your hope,  
half your humour  
and silly jokes.  

I wish you would  
one day see how  
in your own way  
you can be  

all I've ever  
wished to have,  
even if only  
just a half.  

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v6rw3f/selfless/ibh2kq9/)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/v6lg5b/i_love_you_i_hate_you/ibh34bm/)

Half of me