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I like this poem. First it grabs my attention with the visual structure which is pleasing to the eyes. 

    I will hold your hand here
    Clearly, you are a good man
    The pounds you carry
    do no bearing on your merry.

    who needs a trail of poppies behind ya
    To even see em, we lookin backwards, duh.
    we moving forward here and now
    no time for fear, its love that grows.

    you cannot see what you do not agree
    see yourself from outside yourself
    six one one

I enjoyed the first stanza: the longing for affection and subsequent rumination (or lapse into depressing thinking) is really good so it was a little jarring to see the pivot into the poppy imagery which dominates the next two stanzas. I feel in the third stanza the references to death are somewhat overstated. I think that this perhaps needs a redraft or two (I would also consider if the third stanza should fit in with the established rhyming structure or not as, I personally, dislike the repetition of see me). 

Any poem which is 14 lines long is immediately going to be viewed as a sonnet and with that comes a lot of further analysis such as 'where is the volta?', 'is there a volta?' etc. My initial reading of the poem is that there isn't anything further to dig into in relation to the sonnet format. The poem is 14 lines and there is nothing else to see here. (Sorry if that comes across as a little harsh if you were going for a volta or other devices). 

As the flair of this post is t

I think you have really captured here what it means to question internal vs external beauty. It’s reminds me of that John Moorland song, where he sings that in the kind of love that hurts to look at. 

I really think this will touch any one that has wondered if they were just a bit smaller, taller etc

I also assume the title is a reflection of fact that these thoughts often come to haunt in the dark hours and push away any notion of sleep with frustrating anxiety.

Good job.

come, hold my hand  
would i make a good man  
if i did not weigh as much   
and were more beautiful and such?  


poppies would grow under each step of mine  
if it wasnt for the simple line   
that is overwhelming fear  
if it wasnt for that, a field of poppies would appear  


would black poppies adorn my pale figure?  
would i pale at all, disfigured?  
i wouldnt force the deaths to see me  
i wouldnt want to see me

so end it off  
quick

&amp;#x200B;

feed back  
  [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vdfsb1/silly\_me\_waiting/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vdfsb1/silly_me_waiting/)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vcxdch/a\_parents\_lament/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vcxdch/a_parents_lament/)

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