[2494] Wonderland - Chapter 1 - Revised (YA Thriller)

Hello again! Thank you for your crits on Chapter 1 of Wonderland. Your feedback was incredibly helpful! I decided to expand the first part of chapter 1 into all of chapter 1 in this revision. Would definitely appreciate any and all feedback, critiques, and thoughts -- mainly looking to improve my writing! Definitely open to harsh feedback too (including where you stopped reading) so no worries!

Also, comments are enabled!

Read after:

!I've tried to make the characters more realistic in this revision by pulling in some of their characterizations from later chapters into chapter 1. But its possible that now there is wayyy too much exposition or the prose has become clunky-ish. Let me know what you guys think! :) !<

!Also as mentioned before, Alex is the second POV (next chapter).!<

Revised Wonderland - Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wVx3yR5vumXXTuBfpgih69iO5QTcVGrUVnwq50y5bKQ/edit?usp=sharing

For mods:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/vlfzee/1841_road_to_nowhere_chapter_1/idvw4bv/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/vlhn39/1268_wood_road_ch_6_part_2/idw2cbq/?context=3

Critiqued: 3109

Story: 2496

Leftover: 613