Not at all, that's why we post poems here, to get criticized, we cant always get good critiques, and a bad critique sometimes helps more than a good one, if it sounds cliche maybe it is. I dont mind your critique at all

This reminded me of a rant someone went on once. I can’t remember who or where. They were complaining about people using every sideways synonym for eyes in poetry instead of just calling them eyes. I tend to agree with them. 

I’m sorry, but this poem is the embodiment of that rant. It was difficult for me to read and *very* cliché. And also the thought of tasting someone’s eyes, though I know you meant it metaphorically, is extremely unsettling.

Again, I apologize if this criticism is too harsh or not what you’re looking for, it’s just my honest opinion.

I have been writing for years, this poem is a few days old. Oh you are welcome to check as many as you want lol

Do you mind me asking how long you've been writing and how old the poem is? 

Now I'm off to check out your other posted poems to see if I can add any additional insight on this 
(Not that my opinion or advice was solicited) but that is the name of the game here on oc poetry hahaha

Thank you, although to be honest I have become a bit disillusioned with this poem. I dont know it just doesnt seem like it is among my best at all. I have written other stuff that I think is better.

Well dammed if this didn't make me want a cup of coffee hahaha. All jokes aside. This was very powerful. It was teaming with want and desire. Powerfully written. Illicit almost. The pauses were felt. The feelings envoked. 


I can't really find a bad thing to say 
Idk your history but it came across as someone who's written a lot before and worked hard to develop a relationship with words  

Bravo *snaps fingers*


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Let me stare into those coffee-flavored eyes,

To look upon them as my delight,

I have devoured from your sight

More than my heart can bite,

And yet the more I stare the more I crave

To sip one more image

From that caramel glance,

To walk down that path of

Sublime darkness and be marveled

At these black jewels the night sky so poorly imitates,

I love those twin opaque planets

Upon which my soul revolves,

A satellite fixed upon those two wonders,

Oh, dear life from their orbit deviate me not

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vrexuj/the\_haiku\_of\_an\_insane\_ant/iev4qsi/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vrexuj/the_haiku_of_an_insane_ant/iev4qsi/?context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vr7f6e/crotch/iev22ay/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vr7f6e/crotch/iev22ay/?context=3)

Coffee-flavored eyes