Death of something Beautiful

I like the title and the ending especially. Maybe change walls to wall to make it rhyme more?

Hey there! Here’s a a couple lines of feedback:

silence gently interrupted by raindrops softly kissing their bedroom window

To make this image more immediate, you could do away with your adverbs. “Interrupted” and “kissing” are verbs that carry connotations. They already pull their own weight without the need of adverbs to qualify them. Adverbs, especially “-ly” adverbs, tend to water down your language rather than support it. Same for adjectives.

wind chimes began to serenade the end of day as a humming breeze begins to blow

You say some variant of “began to” twice in the same sentence, which you want to avoid. You don’t really need the “began to’s” at all in my opinion. This is another situation where the verbs are strong enough on their own feet. Describing the verbs dilutes their effect on the image.

Befitting be the scenery for the death of something oh so beautiful

Hmm…beautiful how? What is beautiful, how is it beautiful. And why/how is it dying? As a reader, I don’t have a lot of information here so I feel like I’m left out of the scene a bit.

Need no words be spoken

I think you mean “No words need be…”

Love no longer lives here just proof it once existed hanging on the walls

This image, though it could use refining, is really really powerful. There’s is no love here anymore, just the fossil of it. The leftover artifacts of it…on display. You should totally play with this image and develop it. I think it could be the central image of the poem

and like the rain drops…her tears begin to fall

Another “begin to” that you don’t really need. Plus…the line before this one (if developed) could serve as a much more powerful ending than the tears falling.

Edit: I feel like this poem is trying to talk about something beautiful (a relationship) that is dying, but interestingly spends most of its time describing everything around what’s supposed to be the subject of the poem. It describes the chimes, the wind, the atmosphere, the rain…but we don’t get anything about the people or the relationship. This leaves me as a reader feeling written out of the room because the subject of the poem gets the least poetic/narrative attention.

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