[2209] The Alchemist Chapter One - Fantasy, Alzheimer's

[2209] The Alchemist Chapter One

Hi all, thanks for looking at my post.

This is the first chapter of my first book and I hope you can help me improve.
A short summary -

It's about the daughter of a famous alchemist in a fantasy world. The alchemist, her father, is later on diagnosed with a fantasy version of Alzheimer's and the story is about how the family copes with the disease and how the daughter tries to find a cure.

Thanks again.

Here's my critique
1111
1534
1658