If you like it, that is what's important.

Thank you for your lovely feedback! I’m really glad you liked it. The last bit is like that because it is what I feel like saying when I’m lost for words, and I like the juxtaposition with the descriptive language and metaphors early on - I do agree that it would be interesting to play around with a more descriptive ending though!

Yeah; being stuck there unable to communicate what's on your mind can be extremely embarrassing.   
There is a lot physical stuff happening here. The cotton and the cord and the oil and the blood all manifest a heaviness to the imagery, and the verbs you use all have a bunch of movement to them. I'm not sure if I like the ending; you had so much description prior to it that even a metaphor for a "loss of words" felt like it should've had a little more.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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Sometimes I shut down, 

and cotton, 

thick and claggy, 

fills my mouth,

sucks my palette dry, 

coats my teeth,

captures my words.

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

My throat is tied with a cord,

thoughts flicker,

soaring above,

just out of reach.

I try to grab them but

they flow through my hands,

oil slicked and twisting.

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

I am submerged, 

muffled,

blood flocks to my ears,

pulsating, 

back and forth,

back and forth,

as my eyes darken with shameful gloss.

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

What are you thinking? they ask.

Fuck, I wish I knew.

&amp;#x200B;

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w940n2/protection/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w940n2/protection/)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w9i5yz/what\_it\_took\_quick/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w9i5yz/what_it_took_quick/)

Shut down