Source
r/OCPoetry•
Capital_Sale406

How would you know if a Star's still alive?

Poem

My painting of your childish smile shines,

lighted by the sun who throws our shadows far away;

the sun who breathes into your deep and brittle glare,

a light that’s like a beacon pointing to my next way,

so tell me I'm not looking at a star that has already lost her flare.

​

Swear to me our day has just begun,

swear you’ll wait to noon

so we can burn our damaged souls to flee.

Tell me you’ve seen my sweet dream’s moon,

tell me that song was only about me.

​

.

​

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wjb44f/there_is_no_space/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/whninp/an_ode_to_fellatio_sonnet_1/

Posted Aug 8, 2022, 8:37 PM UTC

1910
NorhMoe98•

Absolutely beautiful and such a creative concept!

3
Capital_Sale406OP•

<3

1
Pultakhen•

Very pretty! Seems a little disconnected between the first portion and the second, but I like the arrangement of the lines, they have an appeal visually. May I ask what this poem is about?

2
Capital_Sale406OP•

Sure, it's kinda hard to explain though lol, as you pointed out I didn't really have a linear narrative for this one.

It's about the idealization that occurs when you get distant with someone you have feelings for, cause the waiting for meeting him again increases the desire and romanticizes his figure.

2
Pultakhen•

I love that concept! That’s so realistic.

2
Wompitywompwomps•

i really enjoyed this. another line to elaborate more on the stars and the relationship and the yearning would help add more to the story. Beautiful

2
nicehatbro33•

I like how you tied the concept of the universe and stars, that we can see with our own eyes that don't exist anymore, into feeling distant about someone who was once apart of our life in a meaningful way. It's almost like a false reality, we see that person shine in our memories but they've changed, that person is gone.

2
seoulofthemicrocosm•

The play on flare was interesting. A light in the dark was good imagery. I loved the last line.

2
Sibu_acolyte•

I loved it. For me as a non native speaker was really easy to understand and it’s one of those poems I actually felt on my heart, so simple, gently and concise !

2
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1