The purpose is done well...maybe matching rhymes would make it better?....

I love this, it’s straight forward yet beautiful because of the use of specific details. I love the imagery in the last stanza. I think I would start off with the last stanza and make the first stanza the last. This way I think it becomes more of a story whereas in the way that you have arranged the stanzas the readers already know how this story is going to end, but that’s alright too because that’s what the poem is all about. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.


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this is what poetry is for, it's beautiful, feels like a draft tho which means it has more potential

I lost my best friend.
Not to life, but to her heart.
I'm happy for her.

It came out of nowhere.
A short call, no warning or discussion.
I'm still a bit in shock.

Over four years of my time.
Gone, along with all plans for the future.
I'm all alone now.

She said she saw no future with me.
She's right, we walk at different paces.
I don't care to walk anymore.

I needed closure and I called.
She seemed annoyed, while I missed her voice more than anything.
I don't want to call her again.

But what about all the good times?
Walking down main street, huddled in the cold Christmas air.
I don't know if it ever really mattered to her.

Feedback 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wgaj7d/i_wrote_this_one_in_a_nightclub_toilet_while/iks7r7x/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Feedback 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wr9pkg/love_sonnet/iks8en5/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3