I really like the clarity of your thought process and emotions here. The specificity anchors the reading, and yearning is such a great, universal feeling too. But I think imagery could really elevate this. Think of the sounds, the physical sensations, the sense of light/darkness even could be used in interesting ways here. In addition to that, there are small things like grammar (the incorrect "your" in the 8th line). Also, while I think using colloquial language can be great for making this feel natural and conversational, there is room to crisp up your word choice and be deliberate about how your lines are phrased. For example, the 5th line can be something like "I see one photo of you, my solid core made molten" or "I need only see one photo of you to melt" or something along those lines.


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this is tragically relatable - i like the clarity of it, though i think it might benefit from more internal structure

I go on insta to see if you’ve posted 

Its the only thing thats keeping me focused 

Even though I see you in person 

Insta is the only way that I can’t be noticed 

I look at your photos and it makes me melt 

In person all I feel is guilt 

Obsessing over you is what makes me lose focus 

That all I can think of is when your gonna post
 
I could speak to you in person 

But im afraid that you’ll see me as a burden

So I look at your insta to make me feel 100%

[1 &lt;3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x176on/the_missing_key/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

[2 &lt;3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x12dkf/i_dont_miss_you/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

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