I like this poem.. it reminds me of loss, emptiness and also the materialism of the society we live in.
The descriptiveness of the verses helps me visualise what I believe is the authors intended purpose of the poem but also it is subtle enough that most people can identify with all or some of it

I love it! The only thing that feels awkward is “that never takes form for flight.” Maybe it’s for and form together that sounds weird to me? I think ‘form in flight’ might sound better. That’s just a suggestion tho; great job, and lovely poem 🙂

This gives me a feeling of being contained, how you want to get your screams out and how you want some love from out in the world, however you seem trapped in your mind. It being such a big void, where you go in every direction but not being able to land on something, the memory like water slips away yet you still sink, not in the water but the lack thereof. Feels like you strongly want to get out of your head, you need one external anchor.

"Like water giving in to gravity". That one got me. Truly beautiful piece

This makes me feel the pain and the longing of the author. This was me a few years ago.. done well OP!

I wish, so many didn't share these feelings. it would be nice if things weren't so complicated.

I really like this poem. Ig it's because it feels close to me, but I can't know for sure. I really like the repeating of "I want" in the third stanza, it really helpes to set the rythm and the tone for the poem. love it <3

I liked each of the three sections being able to stand alone but having the bindings to hold it all together.

Beautiful, I began reading like a heavy song towards the end. Your pain is screaming to us from the edge of its seat that it’s mired in a dense blackness of the self. This is good writing. I think it’s worth returning to it though and building on it. It begs for more after reading it.


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I want to so badly scream at the peak of my being

But the light inside keeps me bogged and baggy, dim and damp.

My voice is only but a muffled protest

That never takes form for flight.

-
I rummage about every corner, every crevice

Yet all that finds me are these memories

These memories that slip right through me

Like water giving into gravity.

There's no switch, no lever, no flip.

I'm haunted, haunted by the void

That continues to sink and sink me.

-
I am so famished, so dead, so incomplete

I am so foolish, such dread, so obsolete.

-
I want what I don't have

I want what I don't need

I want what I don't know

I want a love I can't live without.

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x21ljh/cold_august_nights/imhmqzw/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)
[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x1h1qu/fractals/imhmyiu/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

I Want