It's a pleasure, I'm happy I could have been of help!

It takes a long time to be happy with how your poetry is especially with how it's structured and everyone does it differently, but sometimes it does have something in common between everyone (if that makes sense) 

I practiced mine by writing all my poems in books, it helps you see any flaws and find ways to correct them, in my case it even helped me better the vocabulary and language used, it encouraged me to find synonyms and such for the words to make it flow better.

But like I said I do like your poem and for a first it's very good!

Thank you, I really appreciate the feedback. I'll have to do some research and practice on poetry and how its structured for sure.

The poem ends rather abruptly which is unfortunate because it has an interesting tone which made me curious for more, the line could also be separated better because currently it feels very hastily especially with the lack of grammar, all in all it is a nice read which is enjoyable all that you need to work on is the structuring and grammar of the poem itself.

Once again I personally enjoyed it, great work!

Thank you, I'm definitely a noob at this lol. I must admit i improvised the wording as I was just trying to give a thought language. Maybe It won't be helpful for me to write that as a draft and work on it to Express it better and maybe even connect to the thoughts and develop them even more.

In this poem I was trying to describe a sort of disconnect to my own emotions and memories. It's like searching for words to describe exactly how you feel yet never reaching that conclusion. As you search for new ways to describe and understand yourself, your emotional intelligence develops yet you never really feel satisfied or like you understand yourself clearly.

All of the comments I've received have given me some great feedback and have definitely made me excited to learn and try again so thanks a lot.

Lost in a foreign somewhere, not only not speaking the language, no....not even having the vocabulary at all to describe where you are, to cry for help, to find a way through (what seems to me to be a nightmare).

The prose is clear, understandable, readable, relatable and not unenjoyable to read.

What is the gift you are trying to give your readers that would persuade them to read this poem? A pleasurable sensation (like what one gets from a good horror flick) of being in an almost Lovecraftian nightmare realm?

This is as good, if not as sophisticated or polished, as most other poems on this subreddit.

I wouldn't lie. It's fine. 

I think to produce a truly good poem, for a (possibly untalented and undereducated  noob, which I am not suggesting you are!) one has to really work hard to find the right words, place the syllable in the correct positions, make sure everything works synergistically.

Good luck!

Thank you so much. Maybe I will work on it and extend the poem and improve the language and grammar

Like another commenter said, this poem ends pretty abruptly. This leads me to my
first suggestion: to just *write more*. I love how your poem reads and the mental image it gives me and that left me wanting more!

My second suggestion can be ignored entirely, but I feel like the word "intensifies" doesn't quite fit in your poem, do with that as you will.

I wish you luck with your endeavors into poetry :)


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Completely new to poetry but thought I'd give it a try.  Lmk what you think.



There is an emptiness and a haze 
Of which I am trying to describe. 

No amount of knowledge 
Or searching 
Will help me to give it words. 

As I search for the language 
I seem to understand that of others
Yet my own void intensifies. 

I walk along 
In a dark scene
Remembering faint landmarks.

Yet never finding my way.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xe41tv/dark_shapes_behind_you/iog5ndl?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xe791l/constant_contradiction/iog74bc?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3