r/OCPoetry•4 yr. ago

As Small As I Feel

Poem

I don't want to be vague-

A person can only suffer so much

My eyes are heavy with tears and

Salt stains my cheeks

"The lord only gives us what we can handle"-

I'm no Atlas- just a mere mortal

An agnostic with a heavy burden

What more could I even carry?

How does anyone live to an old age

How can they go on

When they bear their own sins, as well as those of their forebears?

How does anyone go on

How does anyone give anyone grace and relief, knowing what they know?

How can I ever go on?

I guess I could write poetry

But I also guess I could keep it to myself

Somewhere, someone taught me that being boring was a sin

How can the world keep turning, when you have stopped living?

How can the sea not drag me back to my primordial beginnings

And the sun not burn me to ash

And how can anyone smile when you have left?

How can my lungs draw breath, and my hair keep growing

How can I or anyone keep on going

Knowing

That you were alone and terrified and we never said goodbye?

It crushes me so deeply, and I have to stop thinking

Because if I do, then I get conscious of the fact-

That I want it to crush me

I want it to grind my bones to dust

For committing the sin of never seeing you again

I want it to atomize me

I want it to destroy me

I want to be as small as I feel

Posted Sep 25, 2022, 5:02 PM UTC · edited