Getting back into after 20 years of trauma. Be honest

Defending myself

From my own appaling mind

Explaining who I am

To people that are gone

When I'm alone

Confrontation is all I find

​

It hurts when I still shout

To know that I am loved

It hurts when I still scream

Scream to let go of me

Your gripping hands in my mind

Your face roaring in mine

The look you gave me

Its when I knew

You fucking hate you

​

The hate I took from you

I give it to myself

Let my inner world explode

Innocent bystanders who don’t know

​

I bleed on them

I might never understand

Why they lend a helping hand

To a vicious animal

Locked in a cage

Waiting to escape

Never seen or heard

Only felt by those

who merely try to mend her broken bones.

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1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xqqp1t/comment/iqapywx/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xqq5np/comment/iqaossl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

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Edit: I can't change the title anymore but it says that because I used to write poetry as a kid, but then things happened and I stopped for a long time, as I'm sure a lot of you will recognize. I can't access my past writings anymore, my mother always found it too dark and hid it from me. So here I am, opening myself up again to feel :)