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Well i got it to edit.. not the format i wanted. But alot better now lol

Yep reddit editing sucks. Pressing enter twice should work I believe.

Ugh I dont know how the format got screwed up and for some reason I cant edit it:( it screws the flow up

Thank you for your honesty.
Yes I guess it is cliche but is accurately true in my case sadly.

Very new to poetry and writing in general.. you do bring a valid point. I need to find ways to make it stand out from the rest.

I'm not a big fan of this one, unfortunately. The theme is very cliché. Putting on a mask, being a fake person... I've read it all before. When you write about things like this, you need to be extra creative with your execution. 

I appreciate the honesty though, it's definitely touching.

I wrote two pieces titled, The Proposal and Drifting, that deal with very similar topics. I think you have a foundation of something that could become great. Turn the story of how you see her being an actress into a play itself. Have the poem be a narrative of her performance as it's unfolding, instead of retelling. If we don't know the true intentions until the end, it could make for a wonderful statement of how we, as the readers, were also blinded by the performance she gave and the mask she was wearing. Maybe we dont even know its a story of betrayal until a revelation at the end. Just a thought 😊 happy writing, my friend!


As I write the poem

I miss you like every night before

I'm hurt and I don't understand

Everything you told me was a lie

You are not who I thought

I guess I did not really know you 

[]

The mask you wore

You wore perfectly

The girl you pretended to be

I fell in love with her 

[]

How can you make my heart throb

You mimicked every little thing 

Like a character written and played

You became my soulmate 

[]

Darlin' for the work that you done

The devotion to the art

You deserve the most prestigious award
 
For the role you were perfect for 





https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xrmqo5/comment/iqgydmy/ 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xruhu3/comment/iqgyv6y/

Actress