Yeah I was going for some structure with repetition but I don’t think I quite pulled it off, so I’ll work on it. I’m glad you liked it, and thanks so much for your feedback!

i think this poems pretty cool! i really like the way you use the c sound alliteration in the beginning of your poem. it sounds as if the sound is drowning out the rest of the sentance and controlling it, just like you feel the calendar controls you. one thing you could have done differently though is finding a different word, instead of using vivid twice. unless there was some deeper meaning to its repetition that i'm missing?

I’ve heard that advice before! I try to, especially to sound out alliterations and that sort of thing, but I don’t usually do full read out loud (especially not for longer writings like essays or that kind of thing). But it is helpful, for sure. Thank you for sharing, I’ll try to keep it more in mind! And I’ll definitely keep posting, I’ll keep an eye out for your work as well :))

Happy to help and hope you keep posting! If you don't mind me asking do you ever read your stuff out loud? That's something that has really helped me with noticing stuff like that.

I think you’re spot on about the stress thing, show don’t tell and all that. Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it lots!!

Beginner poet as well here. I love the idea you have here of being controlled by planning a schedule but the structure itself is also what's keeping you going. 

>Vivid reds and blues run together, blending 

This line Im confused if this is meant to be describing paint or the colours of your schedule 

>With new sets of vivid blues and reds and stress. 

Stress here is something that can be implied through your narrative rather than said

Ahh thank you so much!! I appreciate that :))

This is an amazing piece! I never thought of blues and reds in this context, but I love it.  

I love this! 10/10.

Yeah that’s what I was going for, I’m so glad you liked it! Thanks for the feedback :)

I love the portrayal of social constructs constricting our natural freedoms, with the allusions to our anatomy. 

Sorry if I misunderstood the meaning, but the one I found was very thoughtful

That’s such an interesting interpretation! I meant for the anatomy to be more of a metaphor for how my schedule has a heartbeat of going from free time to business and then back. You went way deeper than me!! Thanks for sharing :))

If I am understanding this correctly, I am assuming that the anatomy is because there is an anatomy exam that will be done on a specific date, or it is an allegory about something that I assume is related to OCD as the description of specific details and characteristics in an anatomy class gives the impression that things have to go exactly as planned

Ahh thanks so much!! That means a ton :DD

you have a good way with words and grammar to create such a frame, it gives a good and aesthetic visual image! Keep it up \^\^

That’s so interesting! I definitely didn’t mean to go down the self harm route, just was thinking about time and going through periods of being busy and then relaxing and how that’s like a heartbeat. But that’s such a cool interpretation, thank you for sharing and for your feedback!!

It had a good feel to the poem and the word choice worked well. The way I interpret the poem is a student self harming but the continual function of arteries and veins are contrary to the actions of the speaker in that they function towards a purpose that the author does not want.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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Color-coded calendars control me.

Vivid reds and blues run together, blending,

Icky paint slop where every day, it seems,

Holds the same shade of grey-brown inanity. 

I plan my winter break, when the schedule fades, 

And I live ‘til exhaustion, dyeing my canvas

With new sets of vivid blues and reds and stress. 

The colors will run again, but later, an anachrony;

Or better, sans telos, blending and un-blending

A circular brushstroke, an exercise in anatomy

Calendar contractions echo the beat of my heart.  


1. [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xrwlu3/comment/iqhjg2m/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xrwlu3/comment/iqhjg2m/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)
2. [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xrqil9/comment/iqhjs4u/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xrqil9/comment/iqhjs4u/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Thanks you guys, this is my first post here and I'm new to sharing my writing (usually I just journal). Let me know what I can work on!

Veins and Arteries