A Blanket of Deciet

(No explicit nsfw content is stated, but the message could definitely be considered nsfw)

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On nights of melancholy when Mom doesn’t watch,

I feel the nefarious instinct drag me back to enslavement,

To fight is futile after years of struggle,

Only to find the embarrassing failure of weakness,

It feeds on the exploitation of a sore human condition,

Feeling the rapidly fleeting peace is all I desire,

When the sedated mind returns from intoxication,

The disgust and shame commences,

Yet soon I will be compelled to return,

I will count every second until I feel it again,

The dishonest blanket of comfort and love,

A blanket that is nothing more than the shackles of a weak mind,

I only hope Mom will never know,

Wondering what she would feel or say,

Most likely words of disappointment,

It's a knife of humiliation and agony,

Though I still wonder what she would say.

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This is my first ever poem, so some good advice would helpful!

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