Hey this is really really good. From the exclamation at the start, to the next three lines ending in the same word, to the ellipsis for the finality... its brilliant. 

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoy reading a hundred page novel, gave me the same hit of dopamine. Please do more four--liners. Brilliant.

Thank you for sharing.

The short form of the poem explains entire thing, yet leaves a lot of space for thinking. My view is that the poet was too hurt and was too overwhelmed to really explain anything more, but it's really sad to see the progression of relationship. And the end.

The reason why short poems work is the limitations of language forced on the limitlessness of imagination. This poem captures a glimpse of this. Its a very universal feeling poem though. Really great. Love the tone and style.

I can feel this one in my heart. You've truly captured the essence of a failed relationship in four lines.

I love the short, to point style of the poem. It makes hit harder than maybe a longer work could have. the tone of it changes really quickly and you feel it as the reader. Great job!

Oh, like the progression of a relationship. Wow it's really simple but it carries its theme really well. What a novel piece.

God this one just hurts its almost like you're living my life. It hold so many feelings in just 4 lines

So much said between the lines here! Brilliant use of punctuation to communicate as well. I’ve never thought of using punctuation in that way. Did you play around at all with a line in between 2 and 3? Maybe something to communicate a period of denial trying to convince yourself to make the relationship work? Something that reads with doubt though…maybe a line with a question mark?


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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I don't think the ambiguity of these lines is helping the text. Vagueness, by itself, does not a poem make.

I love the use of past and present tense!

Not even in a toxic relationship and I still perfectly relate to this.
I think it really is the similarities that get us started with someone we think by seeing 20 similar traits that we are practically identical... While forgetting to understand a human is made up so much more than those 20 traits.
And those shouldn't or don't always match. It is in the similarities that you find a friend. And in the dissimilarities that you learn to truly love them as a whole.

 Thank you for the thought ignition by your poem:) it was awesome

Straightforward, but there is so much in so few details. The last two lines hit their mark so suddenly too

I appreciate this for it’s simplicity. I know others have mentioned that it is too simplistic, but there is always beauty to be found in what the writer is feeling regardless of skill. This is a scenario many experience and can relate to which easily brings many together. 

And isn’t that the point? To evoke a feeling that is universal, that gathers us at one common point? 

The stages which it is describing are clear due to the tense, so it does it’s job. This piece has a clear point and it is effectively conveyed. 

I enjoy it. Thank you.

weak relationship by weak people

differences are an advantage if you have the will to make things work out

We have so much in common! 

Actually, in some ways we’re very different. 

We really are so different.

We were just too different. . . 

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

[Feedback 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xzpex5/comment/irqxrzq/?utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3) and [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y042qw/comment/irqyl3z/?utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

A relationship in four lines