The sun will rise again tomorrow. Hang in there.

This almost reads like a cry for help. I like this poem for its relatability. "As long as i am thinking, ill be sinking" reads to me as the tragedy of a thinking man. Once the curtain has been pulled back its hard to ignore it all again.

I unfortunately relate so heavily to this poem. I’ve been asking myself this same question a lot recently. Thankfully I remembered how much poetry helps me. I’m glad you wrote this.

I love how much it rhymes. It adds a feeling of whimsy, even though the content is desperate and hopeless, which I feel truly reflects what it feels like to process sadness in today’s world. 

And then the ending:

*So long as I’m thinking*
*I’ll always be sinking*
*And never emerge the same as before*

FUUUUUUUCK that’s good! That’s exactly it. The feeling that once you hit that new low that you thought couldn’t get any lower and then try to resurface from it, IF you manage to come back up it feels as if you’ve lost a piece of yourself along the way. Truly terrifying.

I love how every part from the top feels like you are slipping on the rhymes, trying to grasp one or two words that will help you to climb back up. This was nicely done! 

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10/10. 

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PS: Remember, just like good times don't last forever, bad times follow the same rules.

“I reach the bottom when I stop digging”

I love the flow of this and the rhyming! Honestly my only critiscism is "And maybe ashore I can finally soar" the finally kind of breaks the flow

Wow, this feels perfect. It's so effortless to read aloud. It's amazing, you're excellent at this!

Wow.  I love this.  The open rhyme scheme just flows.   I hear a lot about what poetry "is" and "isn't," I think its very open to interpretation and there's not a "right" way to write poems.  If it makes you feel something, you wrote a good poem.  This makes me feel something, I empathize with you and I hope you write more.

This is great traditional poetry. You use your hard rhymes with perfect effect, and there's a satisfying rhythm. Solid narrative and a conclusive ending.

>And maybe ashore I can finally soar. 

This is a solid flourish in your language, but it does throw the rhythm a bit. It might be worth it to take out the internal so your end rhyme has more impact.

this is hauntingly relatable. it somewhat reminds me of the poem from a bojack episode “the view from half way down”. not exactly. just the flow and themes.
it’s beautiful but definitely very haunting 
amazing

This poem is great.

The rhymes of the verses fit well together, and every third line having 10 syllables really helps create a nice sense of rhythm. And I really like the deeper meaning of the poem; thinking that it can’t get any worse, but it somehow does.

I also really like the title

This is beautiful. A cry for help from deep under the earth, still without a bottom. I love this!

I love the rhyme scheme and rhythm of this poem, my personal interpretation of it is that it, rhythmically, sounds like a poem my grandma would read to me as a kid but the content is so dark, sensitive and typically adult, this juxtaposition speaks to the vulnerability of the situation you and many other including myself find ourselves in. Or perhaps how accustomed we become to these feelings that they feel like they've always been there since childhood, I know for me it is hard to remember a time when I haven't felt this way and sometimes it feels like this is the way it always has been. I really loved reading this, it was cathartic. Thank you for sharing and I hope you're doing as well as you can be  :)

"And never emerge the same as before" 

I personally think that's the goal in life. To constantly evolve is to live. Maybe the sinking isn't a bad thing, just part of the experience, to gain a deeper understanding. So that when the narrator soars they understand the meaning of what's below. Gaining new perspective and appreciation for those moments in the air. 

I loved the rhyme scheme. Keep it up!

I really like the repetition of words in poems to illustrate an idea your sinking sinking was used wonderfully

It's really sad. I love the ending because it highlights a good question. Even if you manage to get out, would you ever be able to get back the parts of yourself you lost over the years. The poem was simple and impactful without being needlessly complicated. I also liked the use of rhyme. It sounds lulling. I might be wrong in my interpretation but usually I feel rhyming can come off as goofy and playful when the topic is meant to be serious, but I never got a sense of that here. This flowed quite smoothly without being forced.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

When will I finally hit the floor?

After sinking and sinking

And constantly thinking

"I couldn't possibly sink anymore" 


I continue to drown

Without reaching the ground 

Wondering when I'll arrive at the core. 


Will the bottom be found?

Will things turn around?

So I can resurface back to the shore? 


To Catch a deep breath

And to avoid death

Maybe above I can finally soar. 


So long as I'm thinking

I'll always be sinking

And never emerge the same as before.





________________________________________
Feedback:

1.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1oift/my_recent_shrooms_trip/iryznhy/

2.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y1bywi/hopeless_places_ive_found_love/iryzwkw/

Where's this "rock bottom" I keep hearing about?