Ten to Eleven A.M - charge and fall

(Edit: I realize the workshop flair indicates in-depth feedback is desired but I’ll take whatever you’ve got, thank you!)

Watermelon soldiers,
just a dollar a piece.
Ten dollars for the squadron,
eleven with tax.
Foolish to think any will last.
Twins in file and rank
raise their banner in kind.
Marching along the kitchen counter.

All the wind will blow,
and knock them around,
The earth might spin,
heaving tilted ground.
Ace’s them all,
wretchedly brave,
leave not a drop
on enemy’s numb face.

Tell by their proof
they’re not for the taste.
Each one that falls,
pulls harder on down.
Each one emptied,
deepens the sound.
Death is too long,
and life is too hard,
a semblance of each
In oblivions horn.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y3u6t8/i_hate_poetry/isakmbd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y3m231/just_a_dog/isaloom/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3