My favourite lines:

"when you mourn a heart that still beats."  
"He has loved her in every life and on every rock"

Thank you! This was my very first attempt at writing anything. All critiques are welcome! I appreciate any and all advice from anyone. Thank you for the kind words!

Wow. Before reading this I was a little skeptical as to if this was truly going to be a worthwhile poem simply because of the way the lines are set up (I know don't judge a book by its cover). But after reading this, I can say with certainty that this poem is deserving of my highest praise. It is so clearly understood yet nuanced. Succinct yet endless in emotion. The speaker orients himself so quickly and well that there's no necessity to "get into the mindset" or "warm up to the poem". I love the two meanings of the line "His voice shakes with each mention of her name." So well done. I don't really have any critiques, though it may be worthwhile to mess around with formatting if you haven't already.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Wow, it's not everyday that you come across 'grief' being used to describe longing or missing someone who lives.
It's a beautiful poem, I feel the flow could improve & allow the reader to immerse themselves in the feeling described.
I personally don't get the connection between 'every life' & 'every rock' & that detracts from the experience for me.

Overall, this poem made me think & reflect on all the things lost!

Each memory is a dark reminder of her last goodbye.

Unbearable grief that comes when you mourn a heart that still beats.

His voice shakes with each mention of her name.

Like it did when they were kids dancing the night away.

He has loved her in every life and on every rock.

But loving her has become harder with each drop of rain.


[this morning](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y87wxz/this_morning/iszov8d/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

[Suffer On](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y7586n/suffer_on/iszq750/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

waiting on the rain