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I like this poem a lot, I feel like it could be interpreted either way, either the lover eating the writer in a malevolent or loving way, it leaves it up to the reader very well

i actually like that! 

that’s what i was trying to convey in the sense of my overthinking with the relationship but didn’t know how to put it into personified words lol. thank you for the feedback!!!

I feel like the poem ready quite quickly and it’s beautiful in how succint it is, but I feel as if there is context missing, why is the brain rotting what is the pain you want the lover to absorb, perhaps it should be this way but I’m left with this harsh imagery without understanding the internal feelings leading there.

thank you!! 

1. m&m territory is correct now that i’m reading it lol. i was trying to get the “you make my heart melt!” type word play but didn’t really come across well ah! gonna spruce this up!

2. i totally agree. i was trying to flip it around before i posted but had no good ideas to keep the flow going. thank you for the words! i really appreciate it!

Yes! I absolutely love this.  
A few notes:  
1. Melting in your mouth is a good line except it puts me straight in M&M territory, so I’d find a different way to say it.  
2.  “Does the rot that fills it” doesn’t flow well here.   Maybe  
What about my brain?  
how does the rot inside it taste?  
Is it disgusting? Is it sour?

hmmmm i like this! i tried to make it mellow with questions and maybe that’s how my brain works lol. but the commanding tone probably works better as it’s more of a harsher love poem :) thank you for the help!!

Very good, but it abruptly changes from commanding to questioning. I liked the commanding tone better. Instead of "is it melting in your mouth", how about something like "how its filling your mouth?"
then say "Eat my brai,n tell me if the rot that fills it tastes disgusting or sour, how it fills you with something you've never tasted before"

First off: that title is absolutely genius because it demands your attention.

\[a little off topic: but stanza #3 reminded me of "I would eat his heart in the marketplace"\]

I love your use of imagery too: the juices oozing, the heart melting in their mouth, and that of brain rot. It's disgusting to visualize, which makes it so clever because it perfectly juxtaposes with the use of 'my love'.

Good Job!

eat me inside and out.

\-

lap up all the juices that ooze

from my core and tell me

how beautiful i taste.

\-

eat my heart and tell me

how savory-sweet it is.

is it melting in your mouth?

\-

what about my brain?

does the rot that fills it

taste disgusting or sour?

is it something you’ve never

tasted before?

\-

my love,

eat me whole.

\-

inside and out

&amp;#x200B;

1: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yonkpv/comment/ivfin4p/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yonkpv/comment/ivfin4p/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

2: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yoixfr/comment/ivfj8za/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yoixfr/comment/ivfj8za/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)