[2494] A bit about an adventure girl

Hi guys. Here's the link but let me say a few words too 2494.

So I've written a lot of shorts but I have very little experience with a novel. It's what I'm trying to do here. I've also not had my work critiqued before. Most of all I just want to know what you think about the writing. Don't hold back...I really want to know. What are my overall weaknesses?

The grammar, vocab, and a lot of nitty gritty doesn't much bother me though so please don't be too thorough or go line by line. This is still a rough draft (with the exclusion of my incessant re-writing while I try to write) and what I most want to know is... does it entertain you? Do you feel like turning the page? Why not?

I don't mind commas being out of place but most of all I want my writing to flow, to make my readers wonder, all that stuff. I can tell that it fails at all of this. Please tell me where I've gone wrong. Thanks.

(Oh and you don't have to write too much.)

My Critiques: 2492, 1431, 2174, 1960, 1472