(Potassium Iodide)
As the sky turned orange,
I considered the lozenge,
they had said would save me,
from death.
I realised then,
it wasn't a world I wanted to see,
where nothing else living,
was left.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/z779ih/comment/iy5gnbz
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/z772mv/comment/iy5iuve
Posted Nov 28, 2022, 10:27 PM UTC · edited
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The Pro: The first stanza feels really strong. It paints a picture in my head of .....doom and tension. Powerful emotions are being evoked.
The Con: I feel a little let down by the second stanza. I feel there isn't a satisfactory resolution (in fact i'm having trouble deciphering the idea that's being stated. It feels a bit like an incomplete sentence.)