?

your eyes are

glazed.

the soft turn of tide at twilight.

the dying breath of a mother birthing what would later be deemed a stillborn.

sleepless, rolling from one side to the other,

watery. unfeeling. soulless. dead.

hello reddit! taking a big step here haha.. this is my first post on this r/ocpoetry.. please be kind, this is a poem i wrote about 7 years ago. i am quite attached to this one and therefore very happy to learn how it can be improved

EDIT: thanks to all the redditors who have provided feedback I have made quite a number of changes, specifically the entire of line 5, punctuation of line 6, and some language errors. Thank you all for making my first and favourite poem much better!

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