Chasingwaves

My ex with BPD is on his fourth relationship since we split in November. I’ve just recently felt healed enough to try dating again and I just feel indifferent about everyone. I don’t know if it’s just the nature of dating apps, my age (46) or if I no longer have the trust and naïveté and/or willingness to accept risk, or if it’s the people I’m meeting, but I was really doing pretty well, feeling so much better, until this fear has cropped up that I’m broken now.

That he gets to experience what he views as love over and over again — and I know it’s not the true and healthy love I’m capable of having, but if I’m no longer capable of having it that’s not much consolation.

It was a relativel

My divorce was finalized in October. We did a simple dissolution without lawyers, our marital settlement agreement stated that the house would go to me -- the mortgage is in my name but his is still on the deed. When I went to remove his name from the deed, the property appraiser said something wasn't right with my divorce paperwork and to contact a lawyer.

I did and he said the marital settlement agreement wasn't attached to the final dissolution; that the judge had made a mistake and it was treated as if there were no assets to divide. He said we could do a quitclaim deed but that could cause problems later and that it was best to get the judge to amend the paperwork. That it would take

My pwBPD is truly just an awful individual, maybe even outside of having this disorder. We've been engaged in this ridiculous push/pull, on again/off again B.S. for a year now and I knew I was better than this 6 weeks in but it has gotten progressively worse. The longest I managed to be done was for 3 months and somehow I went back.

Today I feel like I have reached my breaking point. He got caught cheating and has absolutely tortured me ever since, completely made himself the victim, insulted me on every level. Today after a morning full of how much he missed and loved me, he completely turned on me, again, but this time he insulted everything good and true about me, including my role as a

My exwBPD just posted an IG story with lyrics about how he’d rather have loyalty than love because someone who loves you can still stab you in the back.

We (most recently) broke up because I found out he was on dating apps for a month while we were together and he was completely unapologetic about it.

It’s so hard not to point out the audacity (but I won’t.) And I don’t follow him so this post isn’t for my benefit — my brother is friends with him and thinks we broke up in February, so occasionally updates me on what a loser he still is.

Anyone else want to share stories of…I don’t even know, this seems beyond hypocrisy.

I am so sick of my expwBPD. He's petty, unpleasant, irrational, unreasonable, disrespectful, and rarely any fun. He is unmoved by my tears and annoyed if I'm happy for any reason other than him.

The relationship has been over for far longer than it ever existed. Somehow I got sucked back in after months of peace and we'd been communicating the last six weeks or so -- again, mostly ridiculously dramatic, with him being a black hole of depression. I'm not exaggerating when I say I don't think we've had one normal week.

He recently moved to a new city and I'd made plans to visit. I knew it was a bad idea all around. Things blew up again today and he's just a dick. That's the long and short

Two months of no contact from the shortest, and objectively worst, relationship I've ever been in. He's given me plenty of reasons to hate him, and I did briefly, but I'm back to wanting to reach out so badly. I spend all day reminding myself of how awful he is, how scared I was, how he was never even a good friend or very interesting, how there is no positive outcome to reaching out, thinking of what I'd say and predicting how he'd start a fight about it -- Why. The. Hell. It's literally driving me crazy.

What is the allure? I was a normal, mostly well-adjusted person before this with fairly typical relationships. It's almost like I forgive him more easily BECAUSE of his mental illness, b

I’ve been missing my pwBPD even though the relationship was ridiculous and he treated me badly. We ended things for good on 2/14, had a brief but heated text exchange 2/26, and he’s been uncharacteristically silent on IG ever since.

I (foolishly? Hopefully?) thought he was wallowing in misery and regret but he just posted a story (and I know I shouldn’t look, 100% know) about taking a road trip to the city of this beautiful woman he knows. I’ve noticed them all over each other’s socials with flame and heart eye emojis — for a couple of years, long before me.

My guess is they’ve hooked up before or had something casual and it hasn’t ended in destruction because she’s not his FP — and it m

What I'm about to say is ridiculous given the circumstances, but I missed him today and scrolled way back on his IG account (I know, I shouldn't check at all). He's always been really vague about past relationships, I only knew of two and we're in our 40s.

I later learned that he deletes all signs of someone (from when he did it to me) but I was able to tell that intense 3-4 month relationships where love of my life/marriage kind of stuff was discussed that end via his bad behavior are a regular pattern. AND OF COURSE THEY ARE. It also hurts a bit that any sign of me was eliminated but there are still pictures/tags/comment exchanges with some of these other women, who aren't blocked and wh

Really struggling with wanting to reach out to him and, oddly enough, it’s only tempting now that I feel over him. I know we can never be together and I don’t want that. I know he is unwell, will not get better, and treated me badly. I know I deserve more and it would be easy to find.

But I’m lonely and bored. Everything is so quiet. I miss talking. I loved how quickly he replies. I wonder how he is. I’m curious to know if he blocked me and what he’d say if I reached out. I guess it’s some twisted ego thing? And I do miss parts of him, despite knowing I shouldn’t.

I know that even pwBPD are all unique but I’m so shocked by the commonalities that I thought I’d ask: Did yours disrupt your sleep? From the very first night to the last, mine would talk to me while I was clearly asleep or falling asleep, at all hours of the night. Always sweet stuff, like saying that I was his number one priority or how much he loved me and sometimes expressing surprise that I’d always answer despite having been asleep.

At first I thought it was romantic, him saying these things into my hair, declaring love whether I heard it or not, but at the end it felt more nefarious than that, even though the things he was saying were all sweet.

I was definitely my expwBPD's favorite person -- it was intoxicating and exhilarating and affirming. He described himself as being obsessed with me and acted accordingly.

There was something weird about it though and this is hard to explain without seeming full of myself. I'm funny and intellectually curious and interested in weird stuff, and therefore interesting. Every man I've ever dated has used the words intriguing and captivating to describe me, and he did too, but everyone else seemed delighted by me and amused by/curious about what I'd say next and I never felt this from him. I often felt like he wasn't really even listening or was waiting for me to stop talking, I felt like my sto

The relationship with my pwBPD ended dramatically, after a very volatile and confusing relationship that was mostly off and on for four months. He is charming, handsome, intelligent, romantic, fun, has a big social circle he treats wonderfully, is in sales -- it's easy to be deceived.

Things ended on V-day night after an absolutely perfect 24 hours together. I asked a question about therapy and he just lost it, screaming at me, insulting me, and ultimately trying to force me from his car on the side of a dark highway in the middle of nowhere, mocking me while I cried that it was unsafe.

After all of this, I ended up doing some research (because WTF) and discovered he had two previous dom

I've been involved in a relationship with someone I now strongly suspect has BPD for almost four months -- although the relationship itself officially only lasted five weeks. I know I'm technically lucky he wasn't able to hide the erratic/volatile behavior for longer (but sometimes I wish he had?)

Most of our conflicts were over issues that were completely ridiculous, truly nothing I could even predict would be a problem, but on Valentine's Day he did something that made me feel like I was in real danger and I ended it for real.

But I still love him and miss him so much. I'm a strong, outspoken, independent woman who knows her worth -- my friends and family have been baffled about this r

I recently purchased a home in Florida and despite being a customer in good standing for years, Comcast refuses to provide service because the last tenants (of the old owner) have an overdue bill. I have provided a recorded deed, closing statement, utility bill, my ID, and a USPS change of address confirmation to prove ownership and am still having difficulty getting anywhere with them. I have escalated to various divisions of higher management, and contacted the FCC and my local and state government.

Can they legally do this? There is no lien on the property, and I had no agreement with them at this address so I don't understand how I can be penalized for the last resident's actions.

Pl