ItsInconceivable

I was playing something safe in the car and my phone decided to pop up one of our love songs next. It wrecked me of course. I have no idea how it did that. It really drives home what we lost. We LIVED in those songs. That was us. And she is gone.

You think you are doing OK and then this happens. I actually appreciate being taken back in time and feeling the love as present tense, but the loss is excruciating. Good night and peace to you all.

May 16 was always wonderful. 36 years ago we got married. We were so young. So happy.

She died on the 16th of July, so it will be a double hit - 10 months since she died. I’ve seen the dark clouds on the horizon for a couple of days now. I went to her grave Saturday. It’s like I’m out in the ocean alone in a dingy and a huge storm is coming right at me. I’m trying to figure out which way to go to avoid it. Take a trip? Alcohol? (No) Stay in bed? What else can I do? I can see it’s going to hit me no matter what now. I called in, not going to work tomorrow. What would you recommend my friends?

I will need a new electrical panel to get 50 amps, but… I have a 220v 30 amp dryer circuit available about 30 feet from where I want the wall connector. I’m thinking of running flex conduit over there, removing the outlet, and wire nutting in the new wires.

Is this crazy?

Can I use the wall connector at 24 amps?

Can I set it internally to limit to 24?

I (60m) went to yoga for the 3rd time in my life today (1st “real” class). My wife of 35 years died 3 months ago and I had always resisted going while she was alive (a regret I am working on forgiving myself for). I am an introvert so I had to psych myself up for it. The class turned out to be really fun. I had a guy across from me who queued me in whenever I was backwards, and I had a goddess behind me (I finally saw her ring 2/3 through the class, sigh). It’s weird to be looking again after so many monogamous years. I actually went up to people afterwards and introduced myself. It’s like I’m not introverted anymore. I was very thankful for that experience driving home and started crying

I have an EDS diagnosis and am taking Nuvgil. This helps me concentrate but does nothing for the other symptoms I am having. I told my neurologist about the following symptoms and he FREAKED OUT, advised me to go to emergency + local GP, and says it is not cataplexy/sleep paralysis. I am now looking for a neurologist that would be a better fit. Here are my symptoms:

All of the following occur together:

• It usually starts with sudden feeling going down through torso like adrenaline with a general feeling of weakness, almost nausea. NO sweaty palms, racing heartbeat, etc.

• A hunger pang or thirst.

• A need to swallow once or t