shiftmax

I love my children. I work full time in the daytime and my husband works overnights. So my days are pretty much non stop balancing work and the kids. We put the kids in daycare but we have paid for a month of daycare for my kids to only have gone 1 and a half weeks because of all the sickness and fever. I’m sick but I don’t have time to deal with it just have to keep going. I decided to try another antidepressant and honestly I feel worse than I did before. I am so tired I am so burnt out. I’m so tired of not feeling like myself and not having energy to be a better mom. My husband tried his best but when he’s gone all night it’s up to me to do everything. Including while he’s resting in th

My husband sleeps all day and works all night maybe 6 days a week and I want to fucking die. My toddler won’t sleep in his own bed. The baby sleeps like shit. The in-laws never shut the fuck up. Anytime I move or try to exist one of the kids wake up. I can’t fucking do anything in this house. I’m losing my mind and I really feel like I want to just leave my family. I take zoloft and increased the dose last month. I’m soo burnt out. I hate my life. soon they’ll be going to daycare. I’ll be working all day and still taking care of them all night.

I have to go back to work now and I am happy to go back but I am also heartbroken about putting them in daycare. How can I not feel guilty, it really is the best decision for us soo why do I feel so sad thinking about it.

But I can’t do that. Soo what are my alternatives from this hell that is my life.

In the span of 2 years I went from 0 kids to 4. I run after them all day , make sure they are fed. Help the older 2 with with homework and try and put diapers on the other 2. Make sure they brush their teeth and put on their damn pjs. Now that everyone is down and asleep. How do I rest? How do I turn off my brain so I can sleep. My smallest are 2 and 2 months and all I can think about is something bad happening to us. Kidnappers , Tornados everything. Who is gonna watch them if I sleep? How do I protect them if I’m sleeping.

So simple I don’t sleep right? I’m only getting 2-3 hours a day. How can I make myself believe my house is safe

Nope just a butt naked toddler , who is not potty trained and jumping in our bed. Thanks kid.

But now I can’t sleep 🙃

And I am suddenly super stressed about having 2 under 2. I’m scared I won’t be able to be enough mom for both of them. I’m so excited but so nervous for this next part of my life.

I am starting the new season and I’m just not into it. After being obsessed with greys for a long time now I’m just feeling so lukewarm about it.

Sometimes being 8 months pregnant with toddler is tough.

But am I ever going to be able to get comfortable and sleep again . I don’t remember my insomnia being this bad first time around 😪

Fish , rice , veggies , it was beautiful and today he’s only eating strawberries
I tried

My mom: put a lemon in your room it will ward off the bad spirits.

Thanks mom always the best advice.

I’m really sinking guys, I’m in such a bad place mentally I might get fired. is this post partum depression is this prenatal depression I can’t even tell.