simpletriskell

You’re moving out and they’re sad but still drinking like a fish. ‘Boy, I loved loving you, but I love this beer SO MUCH MORE ‘. And I know it’s more complicated than that but this is the low down feel I have right now.

I’m starting to get back into fan fiction, and I used to be part of a really cool, tight knit and supportive community of people who would beta and review and support. I’ve moved to a03, but there doesn’t seem to be that sort of support anymore. Where do you all go for community? Right now I’m writing supernatural and will likely be looking at umbrella academy.

Not a current issue, but one I’ve had previously and that I see in others.

You meet someone, you start seeing them, and they’re exciting and make you feel happy and tingly and wonderful. You’re desperate to see more of them, they feel like they could fulfill every dream you ever had.

Then you start to see things through the haze. Maybe they’re really sensitive. Or they need to know more than seems reasonable. They’re controlling. They drink too much. They pick fights. Not all of the above, but one or two.

You think, but this person is so perfect except for that. I miss them every moment they’re not with me! And you spend a lot of time trying to fight through these incompatibilities.

The obvious religious aspect grates on me. It’s why my Q won’t do AA. And I’m with him. It’s stupid to say that only Christian folk can make it back from alcoholism.

I’m happy to replace god with the universe in my readings. But when it comes to giving up my will to a higher power - that’s not really allowing me to not have a god, is it? I’m not going to hand my will to a tree or a chair, as explained to me by fellow Al Anons. I can work with it if I stretch a lot, but I find it so irritating to know that so many people are left out of this support because it’s so obviously Christian based.

My Q is sweet and wonderful. But one of the things that drives me nuts is when we have a deep and thought provoking conversation and he can’t remember it later. Tonight we were having a good conversation and I realized he was pretty far gone so I let him know the time for conversation was done, did he want to watch something. I know it upset him. It’s a boundary I hold, but it’s based on where it ‘feels’ like he is - I can’t give a concrete number or criteria for not having those conversations. It feels catty and arbitrary, but it’s to help me stay sane. I’m just sad right now. I’m in a good place with myself and I have good boundaries and we have good communication, so I’m doing as well as

So much of the advice I see here is - this person is obviously a creep! Or, they obviously mean to destroy you/move on/control you, etc.

I think there are a million ways to have an unhealthy relationship, and we’ve all had them at one time or another. And perhaps all relationships have elements that are unhealthy from time to time.

There’s an alternative story to the ‘they’re all garbage’ story I see so often here. Maybe they don’t understand emotional intelligence. Maybe they’re reacting badly to you reacting badly. Maybe they’re reacting badly to someone else reacting badly in the past. Maybe they’re not completely transparent because they aren’t sure. Maybe they don’t want to admit t

I think this is in the right place... I have meditated using a Jack Kornfield forgiveness guided meditation, and it’s giving me anxiety. I don’t feel like there’s anything I’ve done that requires forgiveness from me, or anything others have done that requires me to forgive them. I’ve done things I’m not thrilled with, but I try to acknowledge and learn from them. Similarly, I don’t think people are mean to me and require forgiveness. Sometimes people don’t know better or they’re having a bad day or whatever. Does this make me wise, or am I in denial? What have other people’s experiences been with forgiveness?

I never see anything about nice Qs. They’re always violent or nasty. Mine isn’t. They’re kind and wonderful, but I lose them after they start drinking every day. We have conversations they can’t remember. They forget to do things they promised. They get messy at get togethers. This person feels like my soul mate. But I don’t think I can live with this and be healthy. They have no desire to fix the issue, though they admit they have a problem. We went to therapy once and they don’t want to go again. Has anyone had a good experience living with a Q? Has anyone left but remained in contact in a positive way?

I’m new, and wanted to get a sense of the source of different people’s anticonsumption feelings. For me, it’s rooted in environmentalism - I’m inspired by sites like the story of stuff and books like Hot, Flat and Crowded, and related movements such as minimalism, homesteading, small living, frugality, zero waste, etc. What inspired you to criticize consumption and how are you working to reduce it?

I’m fairly new to Buddhism, but I’m trying to follow it as best I can. I have an upstairs neighbor who regularly has yelling matches and I find it enormously stressful and anxiety inducing. Feeling my feelings has only gotten me so that I understand the anxiety better, but has not removed it. How do you handle things like this? Remove yourself from the situation? Sit with it? Address it somehow?